Scotch guard effective?

A light lunch she said. That nice lady decorator did a great job of creating a light lunch for eight people, so how was it that there are twelve empty bottles of rose, not to mention about 20 bottles of beer, were today clogging up my recycling bin? I suspect that Wet Suit Nigel and Gudrun the Icelandic goddess are to blame, and when I sober up, blame will be the operative word, and one that I will be attaching to the miscreants that caused such an outrage.

A comment on this column from Australian “Cathie the Culture” as I think I shall call her now after her comments on culture in Australia an oxymoron in itself, suggests that Wet Suit Nigel could benefit from having his cloths treated with Scotch Guard. This is an interesting concept and I welcome anything that will keep the Scotch away. Whilst on this theme, perhaps there is some treatment that will keep other nasty irritants at bay, like mosquitos or flies, or even the Welsh? You know I don’t mean it really….

I was asleep by 10.30, which I thought was a good effort after a lunch which started at 1 30. However, that nice lady decorator, who never knows when to stop, considered that a 10 30 bail out was only for wimps, and frankly, I have no problem at all being described as a wimp, or, as I overheard later when on the edge of sleep ” a fuc*ing light weight”.

Just one more barbecue to go before I can consider a rest. We are invited this evening to friends we met last summer, who have rented a house for two weeks that we rented for two years before buying, so it will be interesting to see how much it has changed, and whether the stable box that the nice lady decorator built for the owner still leaks because the owner moved the goalposts after construction had commenced. Actually that is not a very good analogy, I cannot see goal posts fitting into  a stable, but no matter. rather alarmingly, my children were invited as well, and they normally avoid like the plague any party to which myself and that nice lady decorator have been invited .

Before i go for my nude modelling assignment, I think I will need a manicure. A pedicure is a waste of time in the opinion of that nice lady decorator who, as previously reported, consider my feet to be similar to those owned by cartoon character Shrek, however, as I have been advised that bulges and wrinkles are considered more of a challenge for the artists, I think my bunions will make an interesting study.

My picture today is taken from behind the pav, which was mercifully spared the carnage of yesterday, clearly the 3 steps up to it were too much of a challenge when its hot and one is full of wine. This meant that the web took most of the strain.

Three steps to heaven, the pav avoids the onslaught

However, business was done, the wheels of commerce were nicely oiled, my trip to Kenya in November is now purely business, an interesting commission deal was negotiated, the England cricket team are thrashing India so all is well in my little world.

My friend Peter Lynn sends me this thought; if you wake up at night and reach for the liquid Viagra, but take a swig of tippex instead, do you wake up with a big correction?

So back to work tomorrow, clearing music rights for a forthcoming film about a sixties icon, and exploring new areas for Currencies Direct and pushing forward with plans to publish my first book.

Chris France