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Ducks off

August 15, 2011

So to the Riviera Ex Pats golf Society (REGS) gathering at the Grande Bastide. Regular player and Yorkshireman Mick Pedley was unusually not wearing his German Shooting Trousers, a kind of leaderhousen, those leather shorts so beloved by Austrians and the gay community, which led me to believe that it must be the off-season for the shooting of Germans. This was rather lucky for Dirk, our token German (he may be Austrian, but I doubt Mr Pedley would stop to check), whom I managed to snap using some German golfing and hunting techniques on an unsuspecting duck which dared to try to share the tee with him, and which is my picture today.

Germans Fawlty? Ducks off, ring any bells?

Also in attendance was former Miss England Pauline Bull, who revealed that she was at Opio Valbonne during “that lunch” last week where eleven bottles of rose were consumed by four people, but had not had the courage to come over and say hello because in her words “you were all as drunk as skunks”. Harsh but probably fair.

It has been a long time since some time REGS golf organiser, Steve Weston has featured in this column, and was determined to say nothing incriminating on this occasion, to the point of being utterly boring. Readers from last year will recall his “outing” his favourite sheep, and indeed sending me a picture of him or her, but he is a good man with a fine career behind him in the European Union, extracting as much as possible from the European Gravy Train and I promised him I would  not bring it up again. Those who are intrigued by this information, that I have promised not to bring up, could, if they were that way inclined, use the search option at the bottom of this page to discover his what has been written about him in the past if they wanted to sate their curiosity, but Steve would not like that so please don’t do it.

Gruff northerner Dave “Tripe” Goddard was resplendent in blue (albeit with rather disappointing brown shoes, which he claimed matched) which  the shoes apart apparently reflected the colour he went when back in his native Yorkshire for part of the summer. Irishman Brendan “the housewife’s favourite” Woods, sharing a surname with Tiger for reasons I cannot go into here was his usual incomprehensible self, telling joke after joke, which may well have been funny if anyone had understood his accent. So, all in all round a good day was had by all. The golf was a very small part of the convivial day, which is code for I did not win anything. I did however win one or perhaps two new customers for Currencies Direct.

Just as the siesta was beginning to work, I was woken up by that nice lady decorator to go across the road to our neighbours the Thornton Allans for, well drinks. They are newly back from Italy with some prosecco for which they wanted a second opinion.

Today is a bank holiday, but that nice lady decorator has arranged, no, that is too strong a word, she has announced by diktak that I shall be playing tennis tomorrow morning with Pascale the pilot who is as fit as they come and twenty years my junior. As you can imagine, after my heroics on the golf course yesterday, and the after effects of that roasting that occurs when one plays Grande Bastide in the summer this arrangement was not met with my complete satisfaction, but negativity is not an option, and the instructions will stand.

Chris France

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Pinman permalink
    August 15, 2011 10:34 am

    “use the search option at the bottom of this page to discover his what” ???

    Loss of brain function is a well documented consequence of excessive intake of rosé……


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