KG2 or KG4?

Bruised and broken after a very big weekend in Venice, we set off back to Valbonne arriving back last night. Sadly I was unable to implant the idea of Lake Garda or even Lake Guardia as it is sometimes known (by me) or even La Guardia in New York, all suggested in comments by people with no idea of how difficult it is to write a blog on a tiny screen with a throbbing hangover.

In summary then, Venice is a fabulous place to visit, I had never been before, but one needs very deep pockets in order to enjoy it to the fullest, which we did, but at very considerable expense, indeed to such expense that the nice lady decorator has come out of decorating retirement today in order to undertake “paying for Venice” duties, and from where my picture today emanates.

"Just one cornetto"

The big push for Le Tour De Finance sponsored by Currencies Direct, is about to start, so expect an email invitation from me in the next few days. I know where you all live, and back sliding will not be permitted.

I am rather afraid today that I may be called upon to do some kind of manual work. The wingo talked me into buying a sit on mower from him in March but has been unable to supply said machine because of some spring thing that has broken off, so I think some brute force and ignorance is required, and clearly the wingco is far too well brought up to know how best to apply this technique. I first learned it when at age 16 I was the proud owner of a bubble car. It kept going wrong, and two of my neighbours were continually pushed into helping me to keep it going. One particularly bad day, I heard them discussing whether the car would best benefit from a KG2 or a KG4. Under the impression that these were parts that needed to be bought in order to make the thing work, I began worrying how much these items might cost. It turns out that they were discussing whether to hit it with a 2 kilogram or 4 kilogram hammer. I have found a 4KG hammer in my garage, so it will be kill or cure for the mower today. In fact I am so fed up with the whole scenario, I quite fancy a bit of kill.

Not a drop of drink passed my lips yesterday, nor will it until at least Friday, when a certain Mr Peachy Butterfield has a significant birthday. I do believe that he will be entering his 6th decade sometime soon, and doubtless there will be an opportunity to rub his nose in it, by which of course I man to join in any celebrations that may occur. I have heard talk of a boat, often driven my a naked political figure, may be involved, so I must be sure  am top form and thoroughly rested before anything gets underway.

Then Sunday for the International Club Of the Riviera, and the lunch aboard the Berenice during the Film Festival in Cannes, to which we have been invited (as long as we pay). This may give you a hint as to the kind of activities to be endured in the coming week, all sorts of film start chaps arriving and swanning around, then a week later some boy racers hit Monte Carlo for the Monaco Grand Prix, which probably means that the veterans Grand Prix will be staged this weekend, a much more user friendly event where the drivers are approachable, and don’t have egos the size of houses. I will find out today and report back.

Chris France