20,000 celebrate distortion of the truth

20,000 hits. The 20,000th hit on this website occurred yesterday and at current rates of expansion viewings will top 100,000 this year. This is a testament to my readership, who seem to be happy to continue letting me getting away with distortion of the truth, evading blame for my own shortcomings, being less than complementary about my wife, that nice lady decorator, and generally ignoring any facts that may get in the way if a good story. Let this be a warning for any miscreants that dare to do something remotely stupid and or embarrassing or anything that my twisted mind can construe as such, anywhere near me in the coming year. I will be watching.

The Antibes Yacht show yesterday was a splendid affair, but before that, it was my duty to set HSBC on the correct course to offer their undoubtedly fine services, by arriving at a very sensible commercial deal, which will allow me to recommend the bank without fear but with favour, the favour being an insignificant consideration, which I shall no doubt bequeath to charity after I have forsaken this life for something better down there.

This is a tacit warning to my siblings that unless they begin to treat my as the veritable old gent that I am clearly not, then the local donkey sanctuary may be getting a surprise bequest after my demise.

At the Antibes Yacht Show I meet Brian Robertson at The Big Picture stand which boasts one of the best pictures I have ever seen. I took this photo of it with him trying to sneak into the shot at the back, which also features both Paul Thornton Allan, the creator of The Big Picture and Pete Bennett, head honcho at Blue Water Yachting, and new Currencies Direct affiliate who was taking time off from his stand to drink some Mr T A’s excellent prosecco.

Celebrating The Big Picture

There were also another itinerant Scotsman lurking on the stand, in the form of Bryce Johnston, both still chuntering on about their respective whippings at my hands at golf in the REGS knockout cup recently.

Their suggestion, that they both caddy for my next opponent in the semi finals, Dave Wilson, and employ the worst American styles of sportsmanship in order to try to  deny me what would be a startling victory over a very good golfer is to be expected. There was talk of strategic coughing, heckling, even employing the use of a klaxon.

My teacher at school of a subject then called British Constitution, was of the opinion that a large percentage of our gross domestic product should be used on, amongst some other very worthy causes, to build up Hadrians Wall high enough to keep out the Scots.  He also had opinions about significantly widening Offers Dyke, the tiny water way that separates England thus isolating the home country from the land of the slag heap, and some ideas about blowing up the 2 bridges that connect Cornwall to the mainland and having it (Cornwall) towed into the Atlantic and torpeaded, but these are far too reactionary to print here. However, at times like these in the face of this Scottish provocation, I see his point.

So after the prosecco, I thought it would be rude not to sample some of the excellent rose on offer, and eventually retired to the Blue Water Crew area to drink well, everything at their free bar. But what possessed us to leave this free event and go to The Hop Pole in Antibes for a pint of Guinness, lord only knows. It must have seemed a good idea at the time.

This morning then, I am not at my best, but REGS golf is calling and I shall be on the tee at 10.33. I do hope I am drawn with Dave “Tripe” Goddard and the statuesque Maria, we have so much to talk about. It will be interesting to see whether their stories about their respective and almost certainly entirely coincidental absence for the Landlubbers golf gathering last weekend match up. Actually, it would probably better if I interviewed them separately, then I may discover a flaw in their cover story, if indeed there is a flaw. Perhaps there is a plausible reason?

Sadly, I cannot enjoy the normal 19th hole discussions as we are invited for champagne and macaroons this afternoon, so must hot foot to Mougins to join that nice lady decorator who will once again to trying to drink her own body weight in champagne.

Chris France