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Cannes Terrorised

April 7, 2011

I hesitate to use the word thrashing but can find no other word for it. I was playing golf yesterday with taciturn Scotsman Brian Robertson in the quarter finals of the Regs Winter Cup at the sun drenched Grande Bastide. In England, the maximum handicap that a gentleman will play off is 28 but I have discovered that rather than one, there are two races in the world that pay no attention to normal accepted world-wide golfing handicap etiquette, the French and now the Scots. Suffice to say after a very strict interpretation of the rules, I had to give a man young enough to be my son a 13 shot start.

Modesty forbids me to reveal the scale of the victory, and who was the losing party, suffice to say that no Scots will feature in the final stages of the competition. He is however an intrepid sort and clearly has exploration in his blood, and although my picture fails to capture his true spirit, the tree behind him will never be the same again after his visit into its central core to retrieve his ball yesterday.

A lumberjack moment from the Scottish challenger

Bryce Johnstone, another Scot joined us for this match. Having been beaten easily by me in an earlier round, he was keen to pick up some golfing tips, which I am glad to say helped his game enormously. Unlike many of his countrymen, I sought no reward for this guidance. Over a couple of beers afterwards his unstated claim that women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready, was not aired and in any event is not an opinion I am allowed to hold.

With the spring weather delightful, I fear that we shall not be requiring the services of The Kashmir, the Indian restaurant in Valbonne much before the end of October, but if you go in, and the waiter says “Curry OK” I suggest you say “OK, just one song, then back in the kitchen”.

That nice lady decorator headed into Cannes last night for her semi-annual jamboree with an old girlfriend Debbie Barrett who is attending MIP TV which is being staged at the Palais Des Festivals. This usually starts with champagne in the Carlton, followed by dinner, followed by her and Debbie terrorising all the young pretty waiters in their sights.To ensure that no teenage pretty boys are left undisturbed, they attempt to visit as many venues as possible to wreak their terror. An overnight stay is usually followed by days of remorse (which does not mean she is engaged in one of her favourite pastimes, watching re-runs of Inspector Morse on the TV), in turn followed by a gradually unfolding litany of bad behaviour, some half remembered, some not remembered at all, and some made up by my good self, based on that lack of remembrance. This continues until the tall stories get so tall, even she knows she is being would up.

Important Currencies Direct business will discussed this morning, with Le Tour De Finance uppermost on the agenda. Two vital gatherings of this nationwide tour are planned in this area, on 19th May at Mougins and 24th May at Nice. At my suggestion, these will take place at apero time so that one can gather the business information one needs to function properly in France whilst enjoying a glass of wine between 5 and 8pm. More details on the website.

Then I must prepare for the Antibes Yacht Show which opens today, but I will await its peak tomorrow before venturing into this hotbed of super yachts, lunch and who knows what else.  

Chris France

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    April 7, 2011 3:31 pm

    Just how bad are these golfers you play against ???

    Like

  2. April 8, 2011 8:59 am

    admittedly not very good, perhaps 20% better than you at your best?

    Like

  3. Rev. Jeff permalink
    April 8, 2011 3:17 pm

    Set myself up for that one didn’t I ?

    Like

  4. Bandit permalink
    April 8, 2011 8:48 pm

    For someone who runs a financial business, being able to count the number of shots you took at hole would seem to be a basic skill. Normally an incorrectly completed scorecard would forfeit a game but no such gentlemanly conduct exists on the CDA:)

    My best wishes to Dave in the semi-final and hope that you have a calculator handy to ensure scores are properly counted.

    I’m not bitter.

    Like

    • April 10, 2011 9:43 am

      my dear chap, after I had beaten you 4 and 3 at the 15th, a fact confirmed by referee and fellow Scott Bryce, I went on to beat you at all the last three holes, so with my accounting abilities, I make that a win by 7 holes? Whilst I admire your tenacious attempts to re write history, I cannot let this slur remain unchallenged. What about a re-match? Shall we say 100 Euros?

      Like

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