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Tennis and a half lob

April 1, 2011

I could have let him win. Greg Harris, CEO of Cote d’Azur Villas is a client of Currencies Direct and, as such, I should not have overpowered him with a precision array of telling passing shots, looping lobs and deft touches on the tennis court, but that old mean-spirited will to win at any cost took over, and victory was mine.

Actually I can think of another situation where a deft touch could turn into a half lob, but that is another matter. Who was it said that a hard-on does not count as personal growth? I think it came to me in “research” from avid reader Peter Lynn the typo king, anyway, I can justify my glorious victory, as I had just created for Greg a victory of sorts, with an idea to improve his profitability by using Currencies Direct, which I failed to plug yesterday, an omission which was noticed and commented upon by Josef the Persian fixer, thus today, you get two plugs!

We were playing singles as two of our regular four had flimsy excuses for not attending, one being abroad (there are planes back to Nice you know) and the flimsiest of all, the wingco claiming he had to take his son to the dentist. Dentists are open at other times you know. Tennis should be sacrosanct. And then the wingco decided that he would attend the dinner that follows tennis, which is terribly bad show, and was most put out when I told him I was having a day off. He failed to see that his sin of not being available for tennis far outweighed my very sensible decision to allow my body some breathing space before the next onslaught this evening at the Queens Legs, and then the Indian in Valbonne.

This was plan hatched in a slightly alcoholic hazy moment last weekend when it was decided to replicate a typical UK night out, down to the pub, several sharpeners, then off for a curry, a treat denied us in Valbonne until the recent opening of the Kashmir.

My picture today is another from close to home, well part of my home actually, the garden on a lovely warm spring day, when you remember why you came here in the first place, very welcome after a second very poor winter in succession.

The pool, peeking out from behind the wonderful yellow hedge

Post tennis, I had resolved to go home and get an early night, but under the onslaught of verbal abuse from the wingco I almost weakened, and had that nice lady decorator not had a lasagna in the oven, I fear I may have buckled utterly.

I have received a 7 figure offer for publication rights to the book based on this column, with talk of a film and a stage show worth millions more, but am undecided as to whether to accept. I will let you know in due course. If I do accept it will be on the understanding that I am played by Russell Brandt. Any suggestion that the nice lady decorator should be played by Thora Hird are as wide of the mark as they are insulting to Thora.

Antibes Yacht show opens next week and I have been urged to attend by Blue Water Yachting supremo Peter Bennett, well, perhaps that is a slight exaggeration but I did manage to blag a ticket, however, given my lack of sailing prowess, I do hope none of those infernal floating things will be venturing outside the harbour. Dry dock would be far safer, very little chance of sea sickness there.

Chris France

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    April 1, 2011 11:11 am

    Poor old Thora, I hurd her name was spelt Hird but I could have herd wrong.


    • April 3, 2011 8:14 am

      I herd your dog had no nose


  2. April 1, 2011 2:55 pm

    Hi Chris! Delighted to stumble across your blog – though I have a feeling this particular post might be home to a few April Fools’ shenanigans!


    • April 1, 2011 4:31 pm

      Hi there, you are the first to spot the April Fool! Perhaps my readers are so impressed by my wit and prose they fully expected me to be selling the rights for squllions…..Do you have an affiliation with a currencies company? if not I can help….


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