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A northern sandwich

March 25, 2011

Peachy Butterfield. Just consider that name. My first thought was that it sounded like a name one would give a grim northern industrial estate to make it sound fluffy and nice. But it’s not what you think, it is the name used by a man with whom I dined at the Cafe Des Arcades in Valbonne last night.

This Cheshire Charmer, a comparative new oik in town, is a mountain of a man, often resplendent, as he was last night, in red and daffodil yellow, the daffodil and mountain element influences clear from Cheshire’s proximity to that wonderful slag heap bestrewn country known as Wales.

Cheshire is a little known and not fully explored tundra infested outpost of northern England, close to the arctic circle where electricity is rare and outside toilets are revered, however when I put those facts to him, “Peachy” claimed that Cheshire is actually a misplaced home county.

He is a larger (with the emphasis on large) than life character that has descended upon Valbonne in the last few months. He suggests that looking rotund (which he does really well)and sun tanned (which he doesn’t do as well, unless you consider the effects of high blood pressure and the subsequent reddening of facial features duplicate a sun tan) is a good starting point for assessing his character. I suggest that he may have something in common with, David Dickenson, the orange one, presenter of various appalling TV programmes who has clearly overdosed on sunbed courses, and might have been his role model.

What is utterly astonishing though, is that this man mountain from Cheshire is seemingly able to command the attention and respect of his wife, described (by him) as the “old coote”, the impossibly pretty Susie. They were accompanied by some other renegades from the frozen north who had already had more sunshine yesterday than they get in a whole summer back home in Coronation Street or wherever they live.

Having been in the UK for the first half of the week communing with other Currencies Direct delegates, I was missing a bit of Square bashing (meaning to abuse food and alcohol in Valbonne Square) so I went twice, once for lunch to meet up with a Scotsman Archie, renowned for singing Irish songs when drunk and his lovely Scottish wife Linda, and then again in the evening, with Peachy,

The male element of the party last night were initially delighted when this bus pulled onto Valbonne bus station, as they believed in was a bus service for ladies of the night.

Happy endings envisaged by the Coronation Street crowd

Tennis yesterday afternoon was a triumph. Sandwiched between lunch and dinner with the great unwashed from up north, (a northern sandwich? – tripe anyone?) I am sure no one would begrudge me a couple of hours leisure time in my busy schedule to impose my tennis skills on my opponents (except perhaps, those opponents), Greg Harris, from Cote d’Azur Villas, my partner on the day, reaching seldom dreamed of heights of winning without losing a set due in no small part to my expert guidance (and taking every shot that was directed towards his very dodgy backhand).

Talking of backhanders, I am always happy to feature worthy local events in this must read column. The decision on which events to cover is almost entirely commensurate with the level of backhander received, so it was with some delight that I can tell you there is to be a special “Art for Water” event on May 6th in Valbonne. Dr Henry Brew is a resident of Valbonne. He is a bit of a dichotomy. He is German, with an English name, comes from Ghana and looks and plays guitar like George Benson. He has set up a charity in Valbonne designed to raise funds for <a href="here“>water for Africa called Here To Grow. People that know him may be a little surprised that water is at the heart of his main priority, because he is more often seen with something stronger in his hand.

Chris France

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Peachy permalink
    March 25, 2011 9:29 am

    Eeeee By Gum Lad !

    Like

    • March 25, 2011 10:39 am

      You see? no idea how to talk properly. I am assuming that this expression means “nil by mouth”?

      Like

      • Pinman permalink
        March 25, 2011 2:03 pm

        Having spent my formative years in an area you describe as “the frozen North”, I learnt, at an early age that the expression “Eeeee By Gum Lad !” was used as a precursor to being out-thought, outwitted and outfoxed (especially financially) by the utterer of said phrase. Caveat Christus Francesticus……….

        Like

  2. March 25, 2011 3:48 pm

    Caveat? is this a typo? I dont wear cravats….by the way when I used to manage artists, we had a latin phrase for that “artisices anus omnes”

    Like

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