His crocs to bear

I see in satirical magazine Private Eye a report on how British women describing their sex lives, It seems the expression “beating around the bush” was used. What can it all mean and in what context? Where did that expression originate?

It got me thinking about other inappropriate statements, for instance, if you were gay you should perhaps not suggest you were making a good fist of it?, or a transvestite? dressed to kill? There is also an Australian expression “a sticky beak” which means to have a good look around, but again, if used by the gay community, it could have catastrophic results, and I suppose a proctologist should be careful when saying he would have a poke around.

When you think about it there are dozens. What about dentists looking down in the mouth? Or even nice lady decorators papering over cracks?

I think by now regular readers will realise that today is something of a lull between two storms. That four letter word work was much in evidence until I was distracted by warm sunshine, and watching my son work at just after 11am. This is a new concept for him as it involves being awake in the mornings and I don’t think he I’d best pleased or enjoying the activity. Another member of our household also has no idea what work is. Here he is relaxing by the pool.

Go on, jump, the lead filled tennis ball may just work.

I had high hopes that Banjo, the dodgy black and white minstrel from the rescue home would be unable to swim, and just in case, and to test his non swimming abilities to the fullest extent, I attached a very heavy weight to the tennis ball he is keen to have in his mouth at all times, but had forgotten the swimming pool leak, so he was able to retrieve the ball and survive, much to my disappointment.

Cafe Latin this morning, for “church” and meetings with the great and good. I cannot mention names but Peter Bennett from Blue Water Yachting will have made an inestimable leap forward in his business life before lunch if all goes to plan. I believe that Mike Croc (with a K) Hardacre (with a k) co-founder of Angloinfo will be a rare attendee, and given the almost religious tone of our surroundings, I will expect to see properly sanctified crocs adorning his feet, perhaps with little crocces, I mean crosses.

Tonight we shall journey to Theoule sur Mer to the Marco Polo for a birthday celebration, and I have found that Mike, and Wandy, his adoring wife, are booked in to the same hotel. Some of us decided on the sea view room for an extra 10 euros (£8 at today’s exchange rates), whilst others took a more abstemious route booking a mountain view room and saving those precious Euros. Their booking a room is a little difficult for me as I believe she is besotted with me, but we have had to keep this a secret from Mike. Please Mike, when you are reading this, gloss over this page (is that something the nice lady decorator might say?)

Yesterday afternoon I spotted Jude O Sullivan, famous for always carrying her own bottle of Bailey’s wherever she goes in case whatever establishment that she goes to has run out, in the Super U supermarket in Plascassier. True to form, she had several bottles of Bailey’s in her shopping bag, but one could not be certain whether she was intending to buy them, or had brought them in with here in the first place, in case she felt the need. We discussed things of import, such as the rugby in Dublin in a couple of weeks time, and a St Patrick’s Day event on the 20th March in Cannes being staged by the International Club Of The Riviera and cricket was not mentioned, certainly by me.

Chris France