Dr Harold Shipman on Crimewatch?

Sunshine at last, coupled with the lies and half-truths uttered by those dastardly bathroom scales sent me off on a very harsh walk this morning around my beloved Brague River and Valmasque forest pictured below;

David Bailey eat your heart out, this is real photographic art

That nice lady decorator was tipped off about my comments about her intellect lacking dog, Banjo, yesterday. If it was you, I will find out and the wrath of the blog will be upon you. She refused to believe that my motives for sending him on holiday to Korea may be less than philanthropic (does he collect stamps?) or that he needed a good holiday, and made the appalling suggestion that I might want to eat him. This is slander of the highest order, I don’t want to eat him, but I know some people who would.

Take this morning for instance, that nice lady decorator has had to spend most of the morning with a shovel and wheelbarrow collecting his not so little and very smelly calling cards, almost all of which in typically malevolent manner he deposits near my overflow office area otherwise known as my hammock. The deal was, when we got him, (against my strict instructions) that anything “left” on the lawn must be cleared up immediately, certainly the same day, but some late summer offerings seem to be still in situ.

My writing empire has extended further. I have been appointed resident restaurant critic for fr2day and my first review can be found here. I have asked head honcho Wayne Brown for my cheque (happy to accept it in Euros given todays exchange rate close to 1.20) but curiously he has disappeared off to London for a few days, I do hope he is not avoiding me.

Yesterday to the Asian supermarket in Mandelieu. I looked for any nice doggy dishes but nothing, not even essence of cocker spaniel for sale which was slightly disappointing, but after a short paws for breath, back to my MIDEM appointments.

One of the down sides of having Sky TV is that nice lady decorators love of all TV dross. The One Show on BBC 1 for instance; last night their guests were Richard and Judy. I mean what is that all about, a sofa based show inviting more sofa based “celebrities” on as guests? What next?, Crimewatch with special guest Dr Harold Shipman?

So, weather back to normal, 17 degrees yesterday and the top down on the merc, all was well with the world, until I remembered my trip to the UK this Friday. Never mind I thought, the weather is fine over there at the moment, according to my friends, but then I saw the forecast for the weekend; catastrophic rain and wind, it’s the wind that worries me, I mean how can they forecast that nice lady decorators output that far ahead? If she tries to deny it, ask her who has video footage of her successfully lighting a fart a few years ago.

On the other hand, the worlds finest ale, waiting to be sampled, and me in the middle of an alcoholic fast, maybe things are not all bad..maybe I can put up with it for a few days.

Chris France
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