Dog in new Korea move?

I have been thinking that I may have been a bit hard on Banjo the monstrous mutt who is the bane of my life, perhaps he needs a holiday. They tell me Korea is nice.

I am sent a list of suggestions for different types of insurance. It starts with insurance for having sex with your wife, that would be Legal and General, and having sex with a prostitute would be covered by Commercial Union. I think the one I liked best was for transvestites; confused.com, although having second with your secretary being covered by Employers Liability Insurance caught my eye.

Valberg is a ski resort slightly nearer to Valbonne than Isola 2000, that nasty 60’s carbuncle of a resort, so with sunny skies an impulsive decision was made. We decided that it needed to be checked out and less than 2 hours later we were standing on the slopes.

My headline yesterday, “no beer until Friday” technically holds up, but one simply cannot go into the mountains, ski and not have a vin chaud, it’s against the law, thus my picture today shows the snowy wastes of Valberg and the largest vin chaud I have ever seen.

Now that what I call a Vin Chaud

The impulsive decision to go skiing meant that I had to multi task, that is to say that I had to continue to oil the wheels of commerce whilst undertaking important research into the attributes of this ski area. This can be done through the proper use of up to date technical equipment such as a blackberry, often in those quiet moments when one is ascending a chair lift. This important work for Currencies Direct and MIDEM was suddenly interrupted when someone, who shall remain nameless, managed to get his poles jammed in the mechanism, his glove stuck on the chair and drop his sunglasses under the lift, causing the immediate stoppage of the chair lift, and further causing some 200 poor unfortunates to dangle on their chairs whilst things were untangled, rescued and corrected. His excuse, that he felt he had time to finish his email before the chair came into land (and skiers will know the timing of these landings cannot be varied) was entirely understandable in the circumstances, but he received very little sympathy from that nice lady decorator who happened to be in the chair alongside this poor hard-working unfortunate. Any suggestion that this person was me is malicious slander of the most obscene order and will be met with the full weight that the law can bring to bear.

I am sent a selection of Australian cricket jokes, many of them hilarious and worth a mention in this column in celebration of the thrashing they received in the recent Ashes Test Cricket series. My favourite is “Why can’t an Aussie bring his girlfriend to cricket?” Answer; “she would eat all the grass”. There are several others that may appear in the coming days.

In the meantime, I will get back on my temperance wagon so that I am if full effect ready for that first pint of London Pride when I land in England on Friday for The France Show this coming weekend.

Chris France
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John Otway’s New Book? http://www.johnotway.com
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