Magistrate in curly wig horror

December 25, 2010

tags: Cafe Des Arcades, Cafe latin, Christmas, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Food & wine, Living In France, Moving To France, Sunny France, Valbonne, Valbonne Square

Unfortunately the weather cleared yesterday so my planned excuse for the dearth of Xmas gifts was destroyed and thus my pockets are considerably lighter this morning.

Banjo the four-legged fool has been sneezing a lot, which serves him right for stealing and eating most of the very expensive drugs I purchased yesterday for a sinus problem. I think he would have been better off using the spray properly rather than trying to eat it, but as his intellectual level is one electron short of a synapse (no I don’t understand that either but it used to make my mother laugh) I suppose I should not be surprised.

So a walk into Valbonne to empty my pockets in the direction of those poor traders who have had a dire run up to Xmas, where I meet our resident out of work magistrate Mr Humphrey (he was free) in circumstances other than Cafe Latin. He was searching the market stalls for any item that would help make him look likes a rock star for a Christmas Party (must be a bad taste event). A less likely rock star could hardly be imagined, with his short back and sides haircut and a studious bearing that belies his intellectual capacity. I agree to lend him a studded collar and a Brian May style curly wig that I have in my wardrobe. He makes a good point about why I should have such items in my possession but I tell him that the nice lady decorators fantasy about Brian May and my answer to it must remain a secret between us (god I hope she doesn’t read this today! oops, did I say god at Christmas, Jesus, oops).

However I was able to secure a promise of a picture of him dressed up for this column, so watch this space. His delectable wife Helen told us she was going to dress up as a cute little girl for the party. Both Neil and I were on the same track, St Trinians, short skirts, suspenders, that kind of thing, but she has more Shirley Temple in mind. But now I come to think of it….

My artistic Christmas shot, looking into the Valbonne Christmas market from the entrance to the square

When trying to post the above picture and caption, the word “artistic” came up in the spell check as “autistic” which if I am honest, might be nearer the mark. Once more the Cafe Des Arcades was the lucky recipient of more of my hard-earned cash yesterday, and festivities extended on into that late afternoon where we were joined by any number of festive locals. I promised that I would not allude to any bad behaviour due to the Christmas spirit, but I would argue that the word “bad” is subjective, meaning different things to different people, so there will be a full report tomorrow after I have collated and edited the host of material that has been made available to me. Merry Christmas!

Chris France

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