I Q of a toilet brush

I am awoken at 12.30, 1.30, 2.15, and 2.50am by the gruesome garrulous guard dog Banjo. You would think that he would be aware that his equivalent of the witness protection scheme, otherwise known as that nice lady decorator, is not in town for a few days and would be on his best behaviour. One would hope that he may realise in some measure the vast depth of feeling that exists dedicated to punishing him for the slightest misdemeanour, but no, he has the IQ and charm of a toilet brush and the bark of a pneumatic drill. When you combine these features in the early hours of the morning, I suddenly feel a vast affinity with the Koreans who enjoy a good dog burger.  This is a murder victim in the making.

A busy social weekend and as a result the usual over consumption of alcohol in a variety of forms ranging from Guinness and red wine, bloody Marys, wine, champagne and more wine (in that order I think) have conspired to make my work with Currencies Direct a little less focussed that I would have hoped yesterday. However. with that nice lady decorator away, the living temptation and thus the major reason for the impetus to test the contents of the wine cellar absent, I had in mind a quiet evening and an early night.  All was going according to plan until the early hours when Banjo decided to change my proposed course of events by taking a dislike to the log pile. He expressed his dislike for it by deciding to use his pile driver of a bark to ensure that all the wood in the pile was wide awake.  That this wakefulness was transmitted to my household did not seem to occur to him or moderate his behaviour in any way but doubtless his protector would have excused him from imagining danger of some sort in the logs (purloined from the wingco’s residence before he realised their value).

Today I must journey to the Var to Roquebrune to save another soul from forex death by banking, assuming one of the weather forecasts suggesting snow for that area today is incorrect.  I hope Mr Darwin, or whoever it was who invented the world and makes it all work realises that snow is very welcome at this time of the year if it falls where it supposed to, in the ski resorts, where they will doubtless be very pleased to see it, and not on roads where I may be required to drive today. I am afraid to say that despite my car having several hundred brake horse power under the bonnet, it cannot go up a 1 in 20 hill if there is even a hint of moisture or worse still, ice and I cannot face an extended drive in that nice lady decorators 4 x 4 skip smelling of refuse, paint, plaster and Banjo.

Today’s picture is another of my arty works taken as the mist gradually gives way to sunlight on my morning constitutional yesterday morning. I am prepared to consider offers for the original, a club class return to Sydney would be sufficient for me to consider parting with it.

Angloinfo have still not seen through my lack of writing ability and have again published my grumpy old git blog yesterday. To read how bad it is go to angolinfo blogs and look up Happy Mondays

Chris France

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