Big Ben Bell For Banjo?

Mike Hardacer (with a K) from angloinfo emails me with some vague comment about “future tense”.  I agree that future is an unknown and that can make us all a bit tense. Perhaps he needs to take the new drug designed for women called DAMNITOL.  Just take 2 tablets and the world can go to hell for a full eight hours, however I have heard that Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow and that the Gastroenterologists had a sort of gut feeling about it.

My new friend Joseph suggests the he will pay for a bell for the collar of the evil supercharged, wood chewing, idiot cocker spaniel, Banjo.  I have suggested the bell of  Big Ben might do the job, if it was dropped from the right height.

Alarmingly today, I have heard from Anna, editor at Riviera Woman that she likes my misogynist article suggesting that women are crap at business because they are too emotional and react too strongly to what people are wearing or how they smell.  Regular readers of this missive will realise that it is a wind up, but I have a vague uneasy feeling about this, if people were to believe I was serious, which of course I am, then I may receive some intemperate comments, I do hope so!

Another crap photo trying to capture the snow line at Greoliere Les Neiges

I did not want to go out, truly, but Wayne from fr2day and BA pilot Paul Warner were insistent. “Just a quick one in the wine bar, a pizza and home”.  and so it came to pass. Actually, early readers of this re-reading may suspect  that some subterfuge has occurred and they would be right.

That nice lady decorator called as she remembered she had a husband looking after her tortoises, the intellectually challenged, spontaneously defecating, malevolent, dribbling kleptomaniac of a dog Banjo, and the benign and well-behaved family pet Max.

Was the call to ask after our combined well-being? Err…not exactly, she wanted to ensure I had set the TV to record some utterly boring pointless and excruciating TV series called something like “Agatha Sherlock Poirot Bergerac Midsummer Rebus Mystery Frost Murder, Again”. Of course it will contain exactly the same plot as the 16,000 others in the same vein that she already has stored; ie a murder, suspicious circumstances, solved by clever policeman, the end.

If I lived anywhere bear Midsummer, I would move out as soon as possible, don’t the residents that are left realise that almost everyone living there has been murdered? one a week for the last 15 years at least.

This morning I awoke thinking, two days of quiet, no drinking  or socialising, even though this is of course a different strand of my work with Currencies Direct,  just nose to the screen, writing, then I looked in the diary and saw the day disintegrate in front of my eyes, “lunch at Auberge St Donat with Wingco”, and I think my liver shivered.

Chris France

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