Skip to content

Marmalade and peanut risotto surprise

November 15, 2010

Perhaps you cannot see it from my picture below but the lovely Melissa Graves is wearing sellotape over her mouth last Saturday evening at La Kavanou wine bar in Valbonne.


Melissa Graves looking rather "stuck up"



I think she was of the opinion that she wanted to be sure that she did not say anything stupid that then would be deliberately misconstrued and appear in this column. However, I cannot be sure because here lips were sealed. She was out with her husband Nigel and their gardener Ieuan who has wisely decided to become a client of Currencies Direct and who was delighted to feature in these pages recently. It was the last night before that nice lady decorator donned her pointed black hat and cape and flew back to the UK for a week.

That was the reason I was dragged from my strategising area with a hangover only recently shifted by the application of a large Bloody Mary. Even the creation of that miracle cure was fraught with problems, as that nice lady decorator went into maximum crescendo decibel overdrive when she discovered that the vodka had been seriously watered down by our children. Now I know why the Bloody Mary’s offered to our guests last Sunday did not hit the spot!

This is of course outrageous behavior and cannot be tolerated. After all I was seriously punished by my parents. For a similar misdemeanour when I was their age, and the tradition must live on. The tradition of punishment I mean, not the watering down.

A good supply of pizza and ready-to-eat microwaved horrors have been laid in, so culinary standards will rise somewhat this week. My off-spring did not particularly enjoy my kitchen creativity the last time I was in charge but given the recent vodka watering down scenario, they need to know they have been punished. I think it was W.C. Fields who said “A woman should be like an angel to my friends, a gourmet in the kitchen and a whore in bed”. I was more of a whore in the kitchen. My children are really are very conservative, I was pleased with my snail liver kekabs and they wolfed down my marmalade and peanut butter risotto surprise, at least until I asked them to guess the ingredients.

Yesterday we had planned to drop into Cannes on  the way to the airport to have a celebratory glass with Wayne from FR2day and Lucy from Red Radish events. Lucy had just finished the Nice Marathon in under 4 hours. She seemed a little put out when I asked what all the fuss was about, after all, its only a bit of a jog, just a bit further than normal. As I had not slept well the night before and was a bit tired, I asked if she could run around to the news agents to pick up a copy of the Sunday Times for me, but for some reason she was quite rude. I would have thought all that jogging would have loosened her up a bit whereas I was still a bit stiff from the night before.

Stiff from the night before, now that is a phrase that could be misinterpreted, but not very often at my age, but I digress. Newer readers of this column occasionally ask why she who must be obeyed is called that nice lady decorator. Simple, at first I referred to her as the future ex-Mrs France, which she discovered and objected to, then the current Mrs France, which again did not please her when someone snitched and alerted her, then the in-house plasterer, which once again did not find favour, it not being “nice” enough and I have just about got away with her current title; that nice lady decorator.

At the worst, she is a sporadic reader of my writing so with her away for a week now, and with even less chance of her reading it, I have a new sense of daring empowerment this week.

Chris France

Buying a house in France, moving money?

Latest local news?

Best Estate Agency in Valbonne?

Best French Riviera Property Agent?

Rent my house in summer?

Rent a private villa in Provence?

Best on line resource in Valbonne?

Secret supper club

Wedding reception?

Valbonne Tourist Office

Top quality interior designer?

John Otway’s New  Book?

Modular portable exhibition system?

Living France, Le Blog

Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu?

Ceramic Cafe in Biot?

Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur?

Find A House in Cote d’Azur?

Monthly Riviera News?

Local ex pat information resource?


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Pinman permalink
    November 15, 2010 9:06 am

    “so with her away for a week now, and with even less chance of her reading it, I have a new sense of daring empowerment this week”.

    Gosh! Chris, what a night !! No wonder you are wrecked this morning ! Who WAS that stripper who compromised you over the pool table in the Queens in the early hours of this morning, whilst her leather-clad mate thrashed you with wet celery ??

    Or maybe you don’t remember !


  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    November 15, 2010 12:25 pm

    Alzheimers alert!! You actually used to refer to the former Miss Brampton(my she was a gazelle in her youth)! as the Resident Plasterer. Hence my splendidly witty pun of re-naming her The Plastered Resident! I’ve just realised I’ve been reading this garbage too long!!!


  3. Pinman permalink
    November 16, 2010 12:31 am

    No answer, came the stern reply……

    What’s up Chris ? Cat got your keyboard ??


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: