Wood Jokes – Logging Off

With the first load of logs collected I thought I should email my fellow mustachioed old git, the wingco, to say thank you, but as he does not have my email address, a fact that he has emailed me to confirm on at least 7 previous occasions, I will not be certain he has received it.  I have asked him in the past to confirm receipt but have usually received curt replies indicating that he has not in fact received the email. I thought there might be some more mileage in wood jokes to continue yesterdays theme,  so I suggested that his barking tone was rubbering (it’s a tree!) me up the wrong way. I think he twigged that we was not very poplar.

Ok, that’s enough tree jokes for today, let us move to something else. I have been looking through the comments on this blog and Mike Preston makes some good points about Sunderland, where sadly he is marooned in the early winter snows at present.  His observation that the colder it gets, the more flesh is shown by the girls of Sunderland (who inspired the Fat Slags in Viz) is as accurate as it is true, also the total amount of clothing worn up north usually has nothing to do with shape or weight or indeed prevailing weather conditions.  The rare size 10 up there is perhaps slightly under dressed according to normal civilised standards, but when the same amount of material is used for a size 22, which is the majority… well I think you get my drift wood.

Talking of Viz, that scurrilous, obscene but brilliantly funny adult comic whose invention The Fat Slags was turned into a film, they also invented the character Buster Gonads. My old friend John Otway and another old pal, Andy Partridge from XTC once wrote a song which was commissioned by Viz about Buster Gonads which reached Numbers 1,2,3,4,5,8,13 and 17 in their chart called “Bags Of Fun With Buster, And His Super Testicular Cluster”, sadly, that was the only chart it did appear in. Otway’s latest book, “Regrets, I’ve Had A Few”  in which I am seriously libelled, although not as badly as in his first book “I did It Otway” is out now and can be ordered in hardback from his website www.johnotway.com, see below.

Peter Lynn suggests that a 2005 Bordeaux is not old enough to be out on its own and he is right, however, I might die before I get to drink it according to his time scale so I will take the risk of it being slightly undercooked.

Next week I must once again venture over to the cold and wet London for work , this time to attend a seminar and doubtless impart my knowledge of how best to educate you lucky people about the value of opening an account with  Currencies Direct  so I shall keep an eye out for girls from Sunderland, actually they are just as likely to have your eye out. In retrospect  the only girls I ever met from Sunderland was called Cherry and Rose, and they both wood.

Chris France      

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