Captain thinks tactics are a kind of mint
A Triumph. That is the only way to describe my cricketing comeback for Little Horwood yesterday.
It was not just the 13 classy runs, nor was it my guidance of 2 raw young bowlers, nor was it just my ability to ensure our lovestruck captain Josh made the right tactical decisions despite the fact that the tactics employed were utterly beyond him.
No, it was a combination of all these factors plus the overpowering and undeniable presence and self belief that I was able to impart to the rest of the team. Several very difficult catches were missed by myself but those served, as I was able to tell the team afterwards, to engineer a tight and thrilling contest.
A village cricket team is often host to a curious mixture of folk. Dave Ell, our publican heartbeat was so much more effective than when actually playing, in his chosen part as umpire yesterday, denying the clearest appeal for leg before wicket that was as obviously out as England’s goal against Germany recently in the World Cup was so obviously in.
It was so clearcut that any true Englishman would have done the decent thing and “walked” (ie given himself out) but the batsman,Tag, as he is known, is Welsh, so normal rules of cricketing etiquette are of course suspended.
Perhaps his nickname of Tag betrays a love of that peculiar Welsh pass time involving sheep? I should have known from the start that there was something odd about him. I mean, wearing a pink shirt, which had clearly never been troubled by an iron, implies there is no lady wife at home to tend to his needs, and it would be a very courageous fashion statement for heterosexual man to wear such an item. I wonder if there is a secret that might emerge from one particular closet some time soon?
Then there is Colin O Dell, one of Buckinghamshire’s finest, with a local accent so utterly incomprehensible that none in the team understand him fully, indeed the cue to laugh at one of his jokes is to wait for him to laugh.
Colin “doddy” Dodd who single-handedly props up the Cuban economy, such is his propensity for cuban cigars, and who is so desperate to retain his ginger good looks, manages to stain his moustache a kind of ginger colour with the smoke from his guargantuan store of those hand rolled beauties. His batting is famously dogged, with reputedly a career best of 7 which apparently spanned 22 overs.
A village cricket team is nothing without its characters but if that alone were the secret of success, then Little Horwood would be placed higher than second to bottom of division 6 of the Buckingham and District League.
Colin O Dell takes his pet pig for a walk at tea time
After the post-mortem (hang on a minute, we actually won!), and the inevitable singing, and once all the piss that could be taken had been taken, off to the muhabhk mubukhtr curry house in the square at Winslow, where on my last visit, John Bercow, Speaker of the House Of Commons, sought my advice on a matter of great import, to eat something so spicy that I am wide awake at 4am writing this piffle.
Today, after fitting the bullbars and stocking up the 4 x 4 with provisions for several days, clean water, electricity generator, snake bite balm and everything else needed to travel in this dangerous territory, we will head for the land of whippets, tundra, and black pudding which is known as Yorkshire.
My continually unsuccessful attempts to bring some culture to this wild and inhospitable land are fraught with danger. A prison sentence would be easier to bear but I will continue stoically with my quest, perhaps rewarded with a pint of Timothy Taylors Landlord bitter in one of the very few tamed hamlets in order to try to keep out the cold.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Tripe sandwiches for tea
12 days, and still not a dry one, and we have yet to venture north of Aylesbury.
I hear from Dave the Fade about golf at the Grand Bastide near Valbonne on Saturday. The tee off time is 8 30 to avoid the afternoon heat, the thought of my golfing pals back in France with heat of the sun on their backs fills me with a new deeper sense of foreboding at the looming, doom prospect of going up near the Arctic Circle to Yorkshire on Sunday.
I am going to play cricket again today for the first time in over 5 years for Little Horwood, the village team for whom I starred as a batsman and leg break bowler, with old friends Dave Ell, landlord of The Nags Head in Winslow, Colin O Dell and Doddy. Dave Ell is a Yorkshireman, and as usual with that ilk, you can tell a Yorkshireman but you can’t tell him much.
He has some Alan Bennett pads, Geoff Boycott cricket boots and loves tripe sandwiches at tea. I am not saying he is mean but he has a framed photo of himself buying his last round in 1976. Apparently it has not been his turn since.
Before the big match we are invited to what turns out to be a debauched evening with old friends Tom and Sylvia Baldock in Aylesbury. The opening of a 1982 Haut Medoc, pictured today, starts the gradual decline in standards of behaviour that one would expect to be upheld at our age.
28 year old wine served, you'd think they might serve have something fresh
Tom, married to Scottish Sylvia claims to be Scottish by penetration. It is a point he makes loudly, so loudly that the nearby old people’s home, where Tom has been told by his wife will shortly be his home, must breathe a collective sigh of relief when we are forced to take cover from a thunderstorm.
You may divine from that last sentence that the evening started at around 6pm with an attempt to enjoy the evening sunshine, a truly gargantuan leap of hope, (of the kind employed By Simon and Moya, both convinced that this a good English summer) but it started outside under glowering skies, guests wrapped up in coats and woollens. The parasol (weighted down to keep from being blown away) comes in useful as a shelter against the inevitable drizzle which is omnipresent in an English summer. However this attempt at an al fresco evening was abandoned after the first lightning strike and the monsoon rains descended.
That nice garden designer is not at her best again after destroying a good portion of the annual pinot grigio crop, so it is left to me to retain some semblance of order. After I had awoken from a brief sojourn on the sofa, I was able to guide our nice Punjabi taxi driver to our destination, where ever that is.
I think you have guessed that rather a lot of wine was consumed, and much gossip of great import exchanged, but I will wager than none of the information exchanged will be recalled this morning.
Except I do remember something Mr Baldock told me in confidence. I do hope that his confidence in my confidentiality is not misplaced!
Chris France
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Crop Circle Scam Exposed!
Dog food at £7 50 for 2 kilos? It’s an outrage! We are staying with the aristocratic Scotts in a tiny Wiltshire village, where supermarkets are unheard of and the community village shop, the only commercial outlet other than the lovely pubs, is manned this morning by the vicar.
Whilst I would never deny venerable, old and faithful retainer, Max the proper dog, the occasional top quality meal, it is different with Banjo, the malevolent cocker who is a completely different kettle of fish, who needs and deserves nothing more to stuff into his overweight frame.
He is still ignorant of the most basic commands. His excuse that he does not understand English is just not acceptable.
Like the french, his propensity to effect his ablutions “drekkly” and without warning where one intends to walk is as irritating as it is predictable. No doggy bags required for the proper dog Max, of course, but shovel, scraper, marigolds, plastic bags and disinfectant required for the horrid imposter who will sh#t anywhere in one’s path, apparently deliberately to keep one on ones toes.
Before leaving Shaftesbury I see this sign in the Mitre pub, and find myself concurring. There certain necessities that need to be taken care of.
Good point, well made
We go to view a very intricate crop circle which has appeared in a field near Cley Hill. I want to believe it is aliens, but Rupert Scott spills the beans. He denies that crop circles are the invention of the tourist board, but the imposition by the farmer of a £2 charge to view it raises my suspicions, especially as the posters promoting it went up a day before the mysterious circle appeared.
We battle across Western England braving gales and squalls, stopping several time for monsoon like conditions to abate, and this is still the temperate south, the intemperate north awaits.
After a nice lunch at the Trout at Tadpole Bridge on the Thames near Witney, where we sat before a roaring log fire to help dry the sodden clothing, we set off for Buckinghamshire to see if the weather was better.
It wasn’t.
As I write this we are in my brothers conservatory, watching the steaming barbecue being deluged by rain, and have just decided to retire to the house as we cannot have a conversation above the sound of rain smashing against the conservatory roof. In other words, a typical English summer, Oh how I long to feel the sun on my back again back in Valbonne.
This is in Buckinghamshire, the same county where Simon Barrett resides. Simon of course continues to claim that this is a wonderful summer. I arrived in UK on 4th July and it has rained every day since. Delusion is an early form of Alzheimer’s, or perhaps he is putting into effect the slogan “adventures before Alzheimer’s” as I saw on a sign on a camper van on the drive up. He used to be so lucid before these imaginings of sunny weather began, its such a shame when the old ones powers begin to wane.
Nothing from Mr North who must be thrilled with his picture yesterday. I am available for golf tomorrow, but so far all my friends are either chicken, or more likely privy to the weather forecast!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Chamois soap brings testicular relief
On our way to visit The Scotts en route to Buckinghamshire, we hear from Sophie Scott. Rupert “toad” Scott apparently went for lunch yesterday, but failed to arrive home until 6 30 the next morning, even for him an 18 hours is a big luncheon event.
Consequently he is in subdued form when we visit. He livens up for a quick jaunt to Shaftesbury to meet up with Mac Mackay, former resident of that sunny land called France. Mac has unwisely decided to cycle from London to Cornwall and has reached Shftesbury after 2 days with his son Bruno and looks like a drowned rat with saddle sores.
He denies the existence of said sores, for which he graphically attributes to the application of chamois soap to ones testicles to ease chafing. He demonstrates the application by waving has around, perhaps this another meaning for “testiculating”?. He is so pleased with the results however, that he typically offers us all, but notably that nice lady garden designer and the delicious Sophie Scott, the opportunity to view the results. On this occasion there were to takers for this no doubt excellent offer.
Shaftesbury is a typical English market town. My geography A level has imbued me with enough knowledge to know it is not in Yorkshire, so how would one explain the picture of this street in Shaftesbury below?
Hovis advert venue scam exposed - this is Shaftesbury!
Many will recognise this street as the setting for a long running TV advert for Hovis, an appalling northern “bread” set to what passes for music in Yorkshire, a brass band, and depicting a young Yorkshire lad with no shoes trailing home up the hill for his daily bread.
This atmospheric road is in Shaftesbury in Southern England. Clearly the TV crew filming the advert were leary of travelling to Yorkshire which would have necessitated them all travelling to the frozen north, bringing proper food with them and generators to make electricity. I am sorry shatter the illusions of my diehard Yorksire readers, many of whom I know secretly agree with my comments about the frozen north.
I have worked out that we are now half way through the watery hell of a summer trip, and it can only get worse when we turn north on Sunday, when Yorkshire is on the horizon. Old git friend Dave Wurr has been scything the tundra to enable us to play golf, so galoshes golf shoes or waders will probably be necessary.
I stupidly ask him if the venue that is booked has any water hazards before I realise what I have said. It will of course be impossible for a golf course in England not to have water hazards, the hazard is in trying not to drown on your round. A fleeting thought crosses my mind concerning floating balls, and Mac Mackay but reaches no conclusion.
I wonder if Mike Hardacre (with a k) has any wading crocs that I can borrow? Now there is a thought, a wading croc? That puts in mind of one of my favourite films, Happy Gilmour which involves crocodiles and golf but that thought chain reaches no conclusion.
En route from Devon to Somerset, we detour to Bristol to Danbury Motor homes to take a look at Camper vans. Our own VW camper van is now 41 years old and he have half an idea to try and get a new camper van.
You may think that looking at a new camper van, might revolve around looking for one with more sequins than the last one. However we are serious, a new camper van can cost up to £35,000 (40,000 euros at todays exchange rate), so we went to have a look to see just how camp they were.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Blog from Cornwall “drekkly”
The Cornish have a word that I keep hearing or seeing called “Drekkly” It is Cornish slang and appears to have wide range of meanings starting from the genus “directly” but fanning out to “straight on” to “soon” to “eventually”. An example would be “I will be there drekkly” I have even heard it used as “over there”.
Perhaps if Currencies Direct, for whom I undertake some small service, were to set up Cornwall, might they be called Currencies Drekkly?
And so, off to visit the Lost Gardens of Heligan drekkly, which are no longer Lost because we found them. How they can be lost with so many signposts directing one straight to them defeats me.
I can report that there were plants in the Lost Garden. Plants, hundreds of them, in a garden, what a surprise.
Then to the Eden project, where the main attraction was.. plants. Now, call me old-fashioned, but we have lots of plants as well, but we don’t charge people £16 to see them, and we would not encourage then to “enjoy” the experience in swirling mist, low cloud, fog and rain.
Also, we don’t have huge canteen selling Cornish pasties and chips to the already predominantly obese population on cardboard plates using plastic cutlery.
We also do not need a pre heated dome sponsored by the National Lottery to keep the plants alive. The Mediterranean biome, as they call it, was a particular waste of time for us who are lucky enough to dwell in the sunshine of the Mediterranean. However when I suggested as much to that nice lady decorator, I received another laser beam from what passes for her eyes. I think it was she who set our laser printer to “stun”
The only souvenir I have from these visits is a tickly cough and runny nose brought on by the inevitable rain, which I have correctly predicted would plague us from the moment we set foot back in the homeland.
I hear frankly incredulous comments from Simon Barrett, claiming that the sun disappeared the moment I arrived, but this is clearly nonsense, as Devon, where we are tonight is almost emerald green due to the precipitation. Similarly deluded is my dear friend Moya who is still convinced that it has been sunny.
One saving grace at the Hanging gardens of hell or whatever it was called was to find an almost perfect likeness of super fridge magnet salesman Paul North, pictured today.
A spitting image of Paul North, with that cheeky smile
The hair is little tidier than normal, but the artist has captured exactly that blank expression he reserves for when he hands over the £10 that he will owe me after we clash in the golf course later this month.
After overnighting at The Masons Arms in Branscome, Devon, very pretty 14th century inn, great food, lousy beer and indifferent house wine and an over priced wine list, we head today for Bristol where we are viewing a Danbury Camper Van.
It puts me in mind of good friend Michael Walker, as who could be camper than he?
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
A spitting image of Paiul North, with that cheeky smile
Lost Gardens not lost shock
It seemed a good idea at the time. After the football, and several nightcaps we retired to bed. But then Rupert “Toad” Scott discovered we had a balcony, and some quite decent Pomerol, (he heard us uncork from his room just above) and he gate-crashed with the delectable Sophie and proceeded to help me demolish a magnum whilst waking up most of the village.
Apparently this impromptu gathering ended with me going to sleep mid sentence, so, jaded and weary now that the Scotts and the Warners have left The Slipway Hotel, we had a recovery day ahead.
That nice lady garden designer is particularly jaded, actually initially refusing to accompany me, but relenting, on our last night out in Port Isaac before we head off for the Eden Project and the lost Gardens of Heligan this morning.
Rather grumpily, I tell her that If the Gardens are lost then we won’t find them, and if we find them they are not lost. The Eden project however sounds a lot more up my street, I imagine to be some kind of vast sexual experiment.
Adam and Eve in a tropical garden environment? The forbidden fruit? should be interesting, however, once the garden designer (not the Eden Project garden designer) has put me straight on that one, I admit to losing some interest.
A drive down to Porth beach then to visit my uncle in Newquay does nothing for the hangover, even a Cornish cream tea fails fully to settle the stomach.
My uncle explains the difference between a Devonshire cream tea and a Cornish cream tea. Apparently it depends on whether you administer the cream first or the jam. I do not have the heart to tell him that you can turn one into the other simply by turning the scone upside down.
This is the self same uncle who 50 years ago bred pigeons in his loft, sold them on Clapham Junction market and then waited for them to fly home so that he could resell them in Balham the following week.
He was a keen fisherman and was also guilty of giving me, aged 5, and at that age fascinated by the idea of fishing, a stick with a piece of string on to dangle in our paddling pool.
Seemingly it kept me entertained for hours as he would pop back regularly to ask me if I had caught anything. It is almost certainly why now I consider fishing to be the most boring occupation known to man.
I had wondered why the beach car park at Port Isaac has been closed, and the reason is clear from my picture today. The high tides are particularly high at the moment meaning that the beach car park is submerged at high tide.
Beach car park at Port Isaac, closed due to high tide
It has so far rained on every single day I have been in England, that’s now over a week, and my summer clothing lays unused in the suitcase, whereas the winter attire that I wisely packed has been fully employed despite the remonstrations of heat waves, hose pipe band and the like from friends whom I am too kind to mention (but Moya and Simon will gaze uneasily at this statement).
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Surfing, rubber gear fetish?
After some confusion about paying for dinner on the first night we stayed at the Slipway Hotel in Port Isaac, a dinner which included 18 bottles of Chablis – well there were 6 adults, and I don’t drink white wine – which had somehow been overlooked, a mere £600 of an overlook mind you, we set off to Polzeth for some surfing.
I thought this was rather a strange diversion for a walking holiday but cheerfully looked out for the internet cafe. I am of course joking, I love the seaside and the spectacle of surfing but surely the enjoyment and exhilaration is ruined by the water being so cold in England that the wearing of rubber suits is considered imperative? There must be some kind of baffling sexual connotation that I am missing.
The lady garden designer decided we would walk to a town called Rock, Air guitar city? And very pleasant it was too with a pint of Doom Bar consumed whist looking at actual Doom Bar on the River Camel.
I can think off a number of bars that I have visited that the name Doom Bar would have suited, the appalling Saunton Sands hotel for starters. I suppose the goth community might appreciate it, or Yorkshiremen.
Talking of Yorkshiremen, I hear of one who would only accept a blow job if I’d didn’t affect his dole! So It is with some trepidation that I contemplate the nadir of our English tour, the drive up north. I have had new tyres and bull bars fitted to keep out the marauding whippets and Yorkshire terriers, and we will stock up on provisions for the 5 days we apparently expect to be there.
The rain has softened the perma frost encrusted tundra up there, so getting from one outpost to another will be tricky The first outpost to be visited is called Leeds, obviously an affectionate reference to that vital dog control item, but unsurprisingly they have spelled it incorrectly.
And talking of leads, that evil giant cocker spaniel, Banjo, who should be permanently on a lead, continues his spectacularly poor behaviour
By defecating in the middle of each coastal path we have walked whilst maintaining that malevolent gaze that the nice garden designer mistakes for affection.
Mr Scott reserved a table at the Slipway in order to watch the football, so we adjourned to the aforementioned Lawrence Llewelyen Bowen designed School House for a light supper before kick off.
It is nowhere near as grand as I had been expecting, in fact quite ordinary, but quite nicely decorated. The best part of it is the view from the car park which is my picture today.
View from The School House towards Port Isaac harbour
I overhear another Yorkshireman telling a story about wanting a golden replica of his Yorkshire Terrier. “18 carat? Asked the jeweller, “nah, chewing a bone”
So the media hype of a sunny summer has been exposed and the first time I see a TV, I see that they now accept that it was wrong, and rain is predicted throughout the coming week. It has rained every single day that I have been in the UK and despite the great beauty of Devon and Cornwall, it will be back to France at the first opportunity to take advantage of great weather great food and a better exchange rate
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ginger Tosser gets revenge
A torturous but beautiful walk to Port Quin, signposted as 2.5 miles as the crow flies is double that and like a giant roller coaster. The compensation is some fine views followed by a couple more pints of local brew Ginger Tosser.
Then I did it, I bought and ate a Cornish Pasty. The taste? How can I describe it? Perhaps “tasting like it was stuffed full of seagulls droppings, toenail clippings, seaweed and covered with enough pastry to cover a medium-sized cement mixer”?
But I don’t think that imparts the full horror of it. Suffice to say I do not believe anything vaguely edible, and much that is completely inedible makes it to landfill sites in these parts, the opportunity to recycle all local waste into the local delicacy has clearly proven irresistible to the eco brigade.
Last night was supposed to be to dinner at The School House in Port Isaac, with an interior designed by the peculiarly coiffured and preposterous Laurence Llewellen Bowen.
The beautiful setting, high up on the cliff overlooking the splendid Port Isaac had put me in high expectation of a great meal, which is much-needed after the culinary disaster at lunch time. However one of out number was still a little under the weather due having been thoroughly jolly rogered the night before, so it was postponed. I will not reveal the name of this miscreant but people who know Rupert Scott may well have an inkling.
The Golden Lion terrace at Port Isaac, garnished by a little Ginger Tosser
And so we adjourned to the nearby Golden Lion, pictured todaywith a terrace overlooking the lovely harbour for a few pints of Tribute, and to watch the tide go out…until it rained again. The miscreant nursed himself back to comparative health with at least 4 large vodka and tonics.
Indeed the old adage “drinks in moderation” was eschewed for “we’re on holiday,”lets drink as much as we can” by several of our party, including a nice lady garden designer. I want to make it clear that she was not sick, no siree, I am sure she was just clearing her throat loudly.
As we tottered back to The Slipway Hotel, she was heard to mumble “I have the most complicated shoes, why do they make shoes so complicated,?” Clearly they were not obeying her legs in quite the way she would have wanted.
The pub had been enlivened earlier by a hen party upstairs. 18 funny giggly girls would, I thought, be an interesting diversion, but as soon as I overheard them request 18 individual bills, I suspected that the evening would not develop quite that way. I think in some way the lady decorator wanted to they clearly were not to try to get the party going.
Today we shall walk in the opposite direction towards Port Gavern I think unless half a plan to go surfing in Polzeath rears its ugly head. I think if one is to surf it is a generally held prerequisite to be able to swim, so that rules me out! however no doubt I will find a local hostelrie to shelter in from the showers and drizzle which I have to accept as the norm in England.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Jolly rogered in Port Isaac
At first it looked like sunshine, then I realised that it was raindrops, lit up by the street lighting turned on early due to the gloom, so what better way than to commiserate but with a pint of Cornish Doombar, which just about sums up my mood.
We stop at Clovelly, a pretty Cornish port, and whilst I was in the loo, that resident gardener, who always seems to follow me around, had paid the nearly six quid each(there’s a joke coming here somewhere) entrance fee to the village.
£6! Now its quite pretty, but on a rule of thumb on that basis, the entrance fee to Valbonne should be about £60! (Or 72 Euros at today’s exchange rate). What is it with the charges in this mad country?
£6 to park on a piece of rough ground yesterday? Jesus, I could but 2 bottles of excellent Provencal rose for that! And have enough change for a packet of crisps.
Apparently the money raised is used to maintain the village, so, in effect, the customers are paying to improve someone else’s property. Outrageous, its like letting your villa out and using the money to improve err um..
You name it, we visited it, Boscastle, Tintagel, Trewlawny, and got rained on in them all.
Later, we text Claire Warner with the news that we are drinking a pint of Ginger Tosser, a premium Cornish beer. She retorts that she thought that he was driving….they must have already started their daily row.
Eventually we arrived at Port Isaac, and what a pretty place it is, made prettier by the Golden Lion pub on the port side, and, the sun has come out! Oh no, its gone again, but it did, honest!
We meet a rough and ready Yorkshireman on the terrace overlooking the harbour who also has dogs. He asked if they are male or female, and I explain that they are neither but were once male. He replies that his dog was also similarly treated by his mother in law. Apparently the dog went there for 2 weeks and came back without his testicles, and gives this as the reason he stopped visiting.!
Then, as we were partaking of dinner aThe Slipway Hotel, Port Isaacs Fisherman’s Friends, the Cornish sea shanty singing phenomenon, the sensations of Glastonbury this year, started singing on the beach.
so dinner was abandoned.
With a recent Top 10 album, and TV appearances they have become celebrities, who all apparently live in Port Isaac within 300 yards of each other, and have all refused to give up their day jobs.
What better setting to see the surprise hit group of the year in their home town at sunset with the tide going out… As my picture shows.
- Port Isaac Fishermans Friends performing on their home town, pity the tide went out!
That nice garden designer became, as usual, rather too fisherman friendly (in her younger days she always enjoyed musicians as most of Dr Feelgood will no doubt testify..) A little later and jaded, I retired for the evening leaving the rest of the party to get seriously jolly .
Of course the expression to be jolly rogered is something that most public school boys will be familiar with, and I number the redoubtable Mr Scott amongst this fraternity.
I myself was born with a Plastic spoon in my mouth, as Pete Townshend once memorably wrote, which at least kept me from being violated at a young age, so I will never understand the full benefits of a public school education.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
First round since 1973 shocker
That nice lady decorator, formerly known as the resident plasterer and now wanting to be described in future as the resident gardener, surprised all and sundry last night by offering to buy a round.
This has not happened to my almost certain knowledge since 1973, or perhaps just before decimalisation. As the purse was dusted off from the depths of her handbag, I contemplated the possibilities. Would there perhaps be 10 shilling note, some sixpences or threepenny bits? I knew there would be a smell of camphor from the inevitable moth balls, but even my imagination could not have predicted the presence of a 1935 penny.
First view of 1p coin since emerging from in house gardeners purse
It got worse, as she tried to pay part of the round with it, (“it’s a 2 pence piece isn’t it?). As proof, it is pictured here.
I look forward to the next time she decides it is her turn to buy, probably in about 2039, or at least after I am dead.
Dunno what happened yesterday. There was a weird title to yesterdays blog, 882 which I didn’t write, and will correct after finishing my pint of Tribute, a Cornish beer I have discovered down here which is passable.
Yesterday morning, after a 4 mile jaunt around Baggy Point, a well-earned pint was on the agenda, the sun was past the yard-arm (at least it passed the yard-arm as we arrived at The Rock Inn
In Croyde) which, joy of joys, was also serving Timothy Taylor Landlord, the second best beer in the world and the only good thing ever to come out of Yorkshire.
Had there been Fullers London Pride, I may even have asked for an extension of the English prison sentence (see blogs passim) no Paul North, it’s not a football expression, its Latin.
Talking of Paul North, I do hope the doyen of fridge magnets has managed to sell a decent quantity of his very questionable merchandise ahead of our golf clash on 26th July. I urge all my readers to buy as many as possible so that he can save the £10 he will owe me after I have slaughtered him despite his girls handicap.
After several pints of the local brew, we adjourned to the local beach, where they tried to charge me £6 to park the horrible hire car for an hour on a beach!. £6? Outrageous! Just when, with the sun threatening to emerge from the clouds, and a decent beer on board, I was just beginning to soften about being back in the old country, a car parking disaster happens!
Truly outrageous! even the best car park, even the Cafe de Paris in Monte Carlo where there are dickey bowed valet parking attendants who will bring ones Bentley to the door when one asks, open the door and wish you a good day, would be embarrassed by a charge of £6, around 7 20 euros at today’s exchange rate.
And when you see where one was supposed to park, on a slope near a collapsing cliff alongside caravans and people from up north with their tins of Special Brew and their kiss me quick hats, I realised that it is a false dawn, and I want to return to the land of plenty. Plenty free parking that is in France.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Banjo the evil cocker denies me a pint
And so the first walk began. From Croyde to Saunton Sands, clad in an immense amount of rubber gear, which in one way I found very rewarding. One is nowadays, at ones current age, rather pleased with a semi, They say that a hard on does not count as personal growth, but I say who cares!
4 miles later, up many a hill and with the Saunton Sands Hotel in sight and the thirst nicely poised on the wrong side of desperate, it happened. No dogs allowed in the bar!
By now my antipathy for the dogs accompanying us on this trip (well, one of then) should be well-known to regular followers, based on cost and quality of life, so this confirmed my worst nightmare, those dogs and particularly Banjo were going to deny me a pint.
In equal measure I am appalled that this could happen. Saunton Sands Hotel is apparently a 4 star establishment. It is an unpreposessing building but in a superb location on a bluff at the end of the massive Saunton Sands beach, only a complete imbecile would design something so white and square and hideous, totally lacking in charm whatsoever in such a splendid setting, and then deny a thirsty customer sustenance because of his dogs.
The lack of even a modicum of common sense makes me so angry. Is it not obvious that many of its clientele might like to enjoy partaking of the famous coastal path walks that pass its doorstep? do the owners have so little imagination as to be unaware that some walkers might just have their dogs with them? Perhaps they are also stupid enough to prohibit swimming in the sea, or the building ofsand castles? Ridiculous, the place should be bulldozed immediately and a customer friendly institution erected in its place, something with charm, a sense of what the customer may want, rather than what is there at the moment, a hideous white monstrosity of no use to man nor dog, or indeed man with dog. A picture of the view (in the lovely English summer weather) is shown below.
View of Saunton Sands taken directly above the rather nasty Saunton Sands Hotel, luckily not in shot
Of course had they felt able to have serve us, I may have been able to accept that architecturally it was perhaps one sandwich short of a picnic, and had a certain charm because of its position, but in no way do I accept that my lucid and vitriolic judgement given down in the last paragraph above was anything but the absolute truth according to Chris.
Moya Janko and Simon Barrett both take me to task for yesterdays comments about my beloved but lost country, saying effectively that there is much to appreciate here, and there is. However, much more has been lost, or could be available with a bit of wisdom or is available in France. Also the implication has been made that I brought the rain, but as everyone reading this in France knows, the barbecue summer depicted in the press and on TV prior to my 3 week prison sentence in England, is a fallacy.
They suggest that I might need and seek their help, and indeed I do, I am considering faking illness so that I can get out of prison early, can either of you suggest a suitable malady that will get me flown home to sunny Valbonne on the first plane? I am now better off than I have been because of the recovery of the euro against the pound, so I am ready to leave right now
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Great weather in England, only drizzle!
That kind lady decorator has laid out my wet weather gear for tomorrow. Personally I believe that the snorkel is a step too far, unless she has something particularly dastardly in mind for me tonight, but I will go with the flow.
As you will have guessed from my first sentence, and my dire predictions about the weather in England, rain is forecast today, but, joy of joys, it is only light rain, so my cup runneth over! Drizzle she says, actually savouring the word, as the precipitation set in last night.
I shall therefore only need minimal protection against the elements today, Wellington boots, light sou wester, and industrial strength umbrella. The good news is I can leave my galoshes at the Thatched Inn at Croyde, our home for a few days because, after all its only drizzle as my picture today demonstrates.
The Thatched Inn at Croyde basking in the soft summer drizzle
Temperatures are predicted to be as high as 18 degrees centigrade, so I will not be the onerous task of carrying the sun cream that would have been required had the reports about the glorious weather from my friends in UK been accurate, I will not name names but Simon Barrett must be feeling uncomfortable as he reads this.
Our first excursion onto the North Devon Coastal Path will no doubt be ruined by the combination of the elements and the poor animals that must accompany us. My only solace is the dream that Banjo the evil giant cocker spaniel will fall to his death in fortunate circumstances, fortunate for me that is.
I am missing my friends already in the south of France, Wayne many hats Brown at fr2day, Mice Hardacre with 2 k’s, at angloinfo, Mr Thornton Allan at creative village the Wing Commander, all seem a considerable distance away as I sit in a cold pub attempting to avoid hypothermia.
We meet some university students who are great fun and seem to enjoy the fatherly insight that I am able to provide, their consumption of snakebites, that peculiar mixture of beer, cider, blackcurrant and in their case sambooka (is that how you spell it?) is formidable and as I remember well when I was that age, the ability to communicate sensibly reduces with every one consumed.
They invite us to he beach today, but the invitation does not have the same ring to it as it would if the invitation had been to the beach at Cannes or Juan Les Pins. I do not think it will be possible to have an exquisitely cooked dorade provencale whilst sitting in the shade with drinking a Provencal gris with view of the sun soaked sparkling Mediterranean, it will probably involve hot dogs or dread the thought Cornish pasies or the like garnished in the sand that the gale force wind is blowing up the beach, accompanied by cans of strongbow.
Talking of rose wine (gris is a rose for the uninitiated) I now understand why nobody k it here, because the only ones available are truly disgusting. The best rose’s are Provencal and a slightly orange colour, But the real problem is that you need sunshine to be able to drink them!
I hear from Wing Commander Spensley, in charge of our house in Valbonne whilst we are freezing in Devon, 32 degrees would seem very welcome here, but I do sympathise with him, when the pool contents are at 28 degrees, it is a tricky job trying to keep the swimming pool crystal clear.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Banjo lost? no such luck
After failing to lose Banjo, the evil flatulent dog in The River Thames in Oxfordshire, that nice lady decorator, owner of that unfortunate animal, decides unwisely to leave him in the car. He has of course swum in the murky muddy river so the stench that awaits us later is too horrid to contemplate.
I suggest that perhaps we should leave the windows shut so as not to incommode passers-by with his particularly nasty aroma, but she has spotted that I have left the car in full sun with the heater on and the engine running. She does not believe me when I say it was to keep him warm after his swim.
sunflower field seen on the way from France
The do gooders, the health and safety experts and the political correctness which is now so prevalent in England has destroyed the very fabric of what makes us English. In 1066 at the battle of Hastings and at most battles through the ages, most of the foot soldiers were drunk on mead or beer when they fought and there is a considerably body of opinion in England that suggests we as a nation never quite trust a teetotaler. My contention is that most adults could safely neck 3 pints of beer and drive home safely, it being palpably obvious that it is kids up to the age of 30 who cause most accidents, but us older adults are punished due to the boy racers crashing their dads cars after drink half a pint of scrumpy.
Perhaps this is an extreme view and I accept that, but I will fight anyone who suggests that political correctness and the drink driving laws have done anything to retain the true character of old England.
Anyway, back to The Morris Clown, where the landlord has sensibly placed an extra-large log on the fire to keep out the evening chill. It is a fine pub and one that must be cherished. I know I do, although I am un-used to the necessity to wear long trousers and sweaters
This morning we set off from Oxfordshire under scudding grey skies to Devon, where once again I will be forced to drink beer and eat food covered in clotted cream or some other evil concoction. I may be required to partake of a cream tea, and eat Cornish Pasties, which, as far as I can make out contain offal, tripe, wood shavings, old tea leaves and bits of dead Cornishmen, wrapped in fat laden pasty. This particular delight passes for food in these parts and must smell like Banjo after a swim in the turgid Thames
Several days have been booked in Devon, The Thatched Inn at Croyde being “home” for the next few days. Walking is the expected pastime, and apparently there are some very high cliffs in the area, so I do hope that Banjo doesn’t go too near the edge.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Sarkozy pig story a porkie pie?
With every mile northwards the temperature drops at the same pace as my spirits. England is looming, well as I speak it is still some 500 miles to the north, but you get my drift.
On the journey through France I am struck by the lack of traffic, well, traffic going north that is, as my picture shows the traffic going south is jammed for mile after mile, the road is crammed with people trying to escape, whilst the traffic flowing back to England is almost non-existent. I think there is a message here which if you are not receiving from me, look at the picture!
The lucky escapees from England head south whilst the unlucky few head north
That nice lady decorator aka the resident plasterer believes that I should not have revealed that porker in yesterdays picture as Sarkozy, she believes that I made up their names, but regular readers will know that this column only ever faithfully reports facts, exactly as I see it or hear them, or on the odd occasion as I want them to be .
Chateau Cocove has changed hands and is no longer on my recommended list. An average meal, well below the standard we have previously enjoyed, with wines opened away from the table is a sure sign of the new owners are failing to maintain the standars set by the previous incumbents. It is still a great setting, and a beautiful chateau but now the Chris France seal of approval is rescinded pending a return visit later this month, albeit perhaps temporarilily, unless things improve, I don’t see how the business can survive.
We awake this morning near Calais to something rare in my beloved Valbonne, cloud. A thick and ominous layer of it which increases my feeling of doom and confirms my suspicions of media hype of the weather in England.
We are close to the UK so no doubt this cloud is the forerunner of the inevitable rain that will confront us when we set foot again in the home land this afternoon.
That nice lady decorator, who insisted against my better judgement that we take her 2 dogs back to the UK with us at vast expense – the cost of bringing them across the channel was far in excess of the cost of our 4 x 4 and two adults – has had her comeuppance straight away. Banjo, the evil “cocker spaniel” (he’s 35 kilos for Christ’s sake!) has already been sick in his basket and even the proper dog Max has urinated in his lead. I am glad I do not have dogs.
And so it came to pass, entirely as predicted, within 20 minutes of leaving the Channel tunnel, the first rains began splattering the dead insect encrusted windscreen.
Jeans have now replaced shorts and my jumper which I had not seen since March is now wrapped around my shoulders, and my mood descends to a new low.
However, I am determined to be positive. I am of the school of thought that a glass is half full rather than half empty, so where better to put that theory to the literal test than an English riverside pub. As I write this in the Trout at Tadpole Bridge on the banks of the Thames, with a pint of Youngs Special in my hand, I find a certain solace in adversity. This may be my life for the next three weeks, so I must be strong.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Pig Horror in central France
And so the trip back towards drudgery begins. I will linger as long as possible in France as you never quite know what spectacle will present itself around the next bend. There we were, getting lost near Orange, searching for the pretty village of Mornas, when, down a side road, we encountered Sarkozy, the pig and his owner, Merkel, Pierre Merkel, out for a short walk before dinner as my picture shows.
Sarkozy and Merkel
Seems to me that it was the dinner walking, well waddling. Sarkozy is 3 years old and as you can see rather large for a pig, so clearly any attempt to link Sarkozy the pig with the current diminutive president of France is a non starter. Sadly my french was just not good enough to exact an answer to the obvious question; why? Clearly, if one is to take ones rather large pet (or feast offering) out for a walk, one would want to be sure that said pet had good protection for his feet. Perhaps Mike Hardacre (with a K) can suggest a style of footwear that would suffice? Pigs croccers perhaps?
Having a picture like that really saves the bacon when one is struggling for inspiration, one is always searching for a rib tickler of a line, something for a good belly laugh but that’s enough pork jokes for today.
Our first rental clients of the season are charming, and living in Bangkok, but sensibly retaining a residence in Valbonne, sadly for them rented out, the gorgeous Sara confirming that she has been reading this column means I can now boast readers on all 5 continents.
But the initial exhilaration at the knowledge that this missive of touching people in all corners of the world is, as so often happens, followed by harsh reality, the swift realisation that their arrival signals that my departure to the UK and all is horrors (and I don’t just mean all my friends) is almost upon me.
Sometimes it is as if fate wants to soften the impending blow by introducing comparative misery in advance. It takes longer that we had hoped, and we had left it too late, to choose a hotel, so dinner was taken on a park bench from a box marked “pizza” accompanied by several beers in cans. Had it been beers in Cannes, then that would have been more acceptable, but at least it was warm enough to sit outside at 11pm to enjoy our meal. So that lurking smirk that accompanied my earlier brush with success got the metaphorical smack around the face. This is the kind of existence I must expect in England for over 3 weeks, but of course without the benefit of being able to sit outside in shirt sleeves without risking frostbite.
Today we shall be pressing ever northwards, with my foreboding increasing with every mile, to have a last supper at Chateau Cocove. This delightful chateau that we discovered some years ago about 10 minutes drive from the Channel Tunnel, is a wonderful oasis in a desert blighted by being so close to the UK. A kind of last supper awaits. The only positiveI can come up with is at least exchange rates wont be an issue
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
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