Like a fart in a lift
There is a problem on ski lifts. The chair lifts and pommas are OK, because they are in the open air, but beware any lift that is in an enclosed space. The carbohydrate rich diet that is normally available in profusion at most of the mountain restaurants seems ideally suited to those with a predilection for flatulence. In my experience it takes less than ten seconds from the doors closing before you experience the first whiff of trouble. Normally, the earlier in the trip that you get that first suspicious moment, the longer the trip lasts before fresh air is reintroduced into ones life.
Worse still, people who normally suffer from such problems seem over come and, with their comparative lack of experience in hiding their guilt, exhibit embarressment of the highest order
Past masters of the disguise of such misdeeds, (and I hope that nice lady decorator will not be offended here) are adept at transferring blame with an accusing look at some poor innocent who happened to be in the vicinity at the time of trump. This however is more difficult to achieve in a small area with a finite number of potential guilty parties, however it does not stop her trying.
My picture today comes under the “arty” slogan, for which I am rightly renowned. It is taken on the last run back over from Italy to La Rosiere in France, with the sun going down and the mist already collecting in the valleys, but with the sun full at you. I think I might enter into the National Geographic photo of the year competition.
So today is the start of 2011, and my only chance to see some of it before midday will come in those hours after midnight, as I do not expect to be in circulation first think this morning. That nice lady decorator has kindly helped with the pacing of the evening by inviting all and sundry to our sumptuous (not) appartment for champagne right in the middle of my pre designated siesta time, so at the time of writing I am not best pleased as I had in mind a sleep and a relatatively late start to the evening.
We are dure to attend a gliittering ball (at least I think the disco will have a gliitering ball) at a local restaurant where the main course on the fixed menu is a fillet de boeuf, which suits me down to the ground but there are several vegetarians in our midst who have expressed concern. I did not increase my poularity stakes this afternoon when this subject was being discussed when I suggested that the cows involved were vegetarians.
Due to the near certainty that I shall not be conscious in the morning at that none of you will be up before dawn, this last missive of the year is being lovingly constructed for you, my happy readers, before the news years even festivities commence so Happy New Year to all.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
The Wrong Trousers
There is always one. Someone who goes skiing and forgets something fundamentally important, like skis, but it is not often one gets to the ski resort only to discover that one has packed ones sons salapettes instead of ones own. However the Brits are the most adaptable of races so this relatively insignificant problem was overcome stoically with the addition of a belt as shown below;
I think Wallace and Grommit had it, The Wrong Trousers
I am forbidden to reveal who this person is, but anyone suggesting that it may have been the author of this column will be receiving a writ from my lawyers, Messrs Sue Grabbit and Runne.
A sublime morning skiing at La Rosiere was interrupted by some light cloud which produced some flat light, so, after a pit stop for a coffee with rum at 11 30 ish, someone had to volunteer to hold the table for lunch. Selflessly I put myself forward for this onerous and time consuming (literally) task, which meant I was excused a nasty red (this is skiing parlance for non skiers, reflecting the difficulty of the piste and does not have any meaning suggesting rawness of any part of the anatomy).
Lunch was thus taken at La Traversette above La Rosiere, where the house wine was a cheeky vin de Savoie, just about drinkable, but realistically only if you are intensely thirsty, but at 2 20 euros (£1 80 at today’s exchange rates) a glass, we struggled through to the digestives, which for me was a Marc de Bourgogne. I blame Peter Lynn for introducing me to the Marc’s, a clear spirit made from all the left overs of the grapes used in the wine process. It has the effect of vastly increasing ones confidence in ones skiing ability, at least in ones own mind.
View from inside La Traversette at La Rosiere in the Alps
I always find it important to keep the alcohol carbohydrate levels high when skiing, I find this is best acheieved by the administering of expresso and cognac in equal measure. If one were to be so pedantic as to want to measure quantity then a figure of 4 may have entered the equation. Suffice to say that I skied with greater and greater confidence, and with greater and greater belief in my own ability as a skier. Sadly this confidence was not shared by my fellow skiers.
Last night to dinner with the Surtees family, those responsible for our impossibly impulsive trip up the mountains. A rather nice magnum 2005 Bordeaux was sacrificed for the cause along witha couple of Sancerres of the white variety and I think it is safe to say that we all decided that we had skied very well as the last vestiges of wine evaporated into out various stomachs.
New Years eve tomorrow, so I must consider my new years resolutions in earnest. Perhaps the first one could be; I will not drink wine without a glass.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Mercedes 550SL, enough to arouse a woman?
What do you think is the best mechanical device to arouse a woman? Having considered that question I think the answer could be a Mercedes 550SL convertible. Given the current weather, I was thinking of arousal as I needed something to brighten up that nice lady decorator as once again yesterday morning we awoke to grey miserable English style weather. I am thinking of sueing Peter Maille as he never told us the weather could be like this here.
So to brighten up the day, my picture today is of some flowers in a garden I took recently.
Images of a better time, weather wise
As luck would have it, just as we were complaining again about the weather, we discovered some old friends, one of whom spent a large part of his career at Yorkshire TV overseeing the likes of Coronation Street and Emmerdale Farm, were skiing at La Rosiere in the Alps, and they had a spare bedroom.
Suffice to say that within the hour we were packed up and on our way.
This means that we have had to make our excuses to several devastated hosts of events on the holiday events schedule (that I never see), which meant it was the job of that nice lady decorator, the arbiter of which social occasion to attend, to withdraw our acceptance of various invitations, including one yesterday afternoon to afternoon tea at the residence of Mr Humphreys (he was free). That means I still do not know where he lives.
Disappointed hosts litter the cote d’azur, but if the authorities can’t get the weather right then our appearances at these most glittering events cannot be guaranteed. Apart from the prospect of skiing, the whole ski experience and for me that means a few not very testing runs before lunch with a stop for a bombardino (an Italian frothy coffee with some local liqueur) and then a much more testing event, lunch, at one of the mountain restaurants, followed by a siesta before apres ski festivities.
There are other upsides as well, often our departure from Valbonne for a few days means prison in the form of a dog sitter for Banjo, the festering flatulent flea infested fool. However on this occasion he has managed to get away with it as we have (perhaps unwisely) entrusted our house and dog sitting duties to our children due to the impulsive acceptance of the skiing invite. They (our children) were read the riot act by that nice lady decorator who has instructed that there will be no friends to stay and no parties after last time, and I expect them to keep their promise, at least until last night. What they perhaps do not know is that she has asked all our neighbours and friends to be alert to the slightest sound or indication of a party being staged, and it is in my opinion impossible that they would be able to have a party without that nice lady decorator getting wind of it, and if she does, well they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and I have seen that particular version of hell on several occasions and it is not pretty.
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Old peoples home killer shock
Given my impending entry in only a few short years into the vast and quickly expanding ranks of those lucky enough to receive free bus passes, I am all in favour of the building of more old people’s homes, I just think placing one a mere 50 meters from Jimmy’s Killer Prawns is possibly a bit insensitive, unless Jimmy is planning to open a local branch of Gravitas?
A surprise 18th birthday party held for the daughter of good friends the night before last produced a very good attendance of parents of her friends, many of who would go to the opening of an envelope. A convivial evening involving locals and former locals visiting for Christmas was well underway but sadly the ranks of those parents was quickly depleted as the teenagers who do not live down here permanently and therefore have little exposure to moderate drinking, gradually vomited themselves into oblivion. If ever there was an argument for exposing teenagers gradually to alcohol with a glass of wine at dinner, this was it.
The power of “persuasion” rather than blackmail has had the desired effect and I am thus now able to publish the picture to which I alluded yesterday.
It us of course of Ozzy Osbourne masquerading as out of work magistrate Neil Humphreys (he was free when this picture was taken). What I am now waiting for is the picture of his delightful wife and well-respected local artist Helen “Lolitta” Humphrey in whatever little girl outfit she eventually settled on.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear
The maximum sentence that a magistrate can impose is apparently two years in prison. This seems totally inadequate retribution for the sins that are being visited in the above picture, seems like this one is destined for the Crown Court.
Last night to a superb dinner thrown by some very respected and powerful people who claim to their professional careers have been not exactly enhanced by appearing in this blog. It is now very possible that if you appear by name in this column, that if googled, that name will come up in the top page of their rankings (potential advertisers like Currencies Direct please take note). This has the rather alarming consequence that I may have either to reign in my reporting of some events, or change the names to protest the guilty. Thus last night for instance, I was at dinner with Tim Bucktwo, Lady Jill, Ghana Henry the chemist, Voluptous Vinetta and that nice lady decorator. The evening was so convivial it extended past the deadline I had in mind to return to my sofa and enjoy the final confirmation of retention of The Ashes by the mighty English cricket team over the Australians, and only just got home in time for the final over, and the result that I had begun to engineer with my support in Brisbane for the first match of the series. I cannot leave this column without congratulating the English cricket team on an astounding victory in Melbourne, a fantastic achievement in Australia where we have lost 10 out of the last 11 matches. The problem is, what am I going to do tomorrow night?
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Cher spotted in Valbonne?
Do you know what I did before I got married? Anything I wanted to. Thus there was never an issue if I wanted to stay up all night and watch the Australian cricket captain Ricky Ponting threw his rattle out of the cage when things were going against him. The Ashes should now be retained in the next few days and I can’t wait!!!
Photos for this column are always the hardest to come up with, so last evening I was very happy to hear from out of work magistrate Neil (Mr) Humphreys (he was free) attaching a picture of himself dressed in a Cher wig, punk style studded necklace and various other rock n roll paraphernalia. He contends that it was something to do with dressing up for a party, but he has a delectable wife, and sometimes it is a husbands duty to undertake actions or to dress according to the personal requirements or fantasies of his wife. I cannot possible comment if this is the case on this occasion but in any event and with a cruel twist of fate or, as I believe, a deliberate attempt to thwart me, he sent the picture in a format that I cannot open. I shall keep trying but it is now very late, Australia have just commenced their almost impossible attempt to save the fourth test and The Ashes at 3 in the morning. I shall take it up with him when we attend his tea party this afternoon. Regular readers will know that if he fails to supply with a me with a useable version of this picture for this column then my usual easy going attitude to the foibles and errors of judgements of my friends may have to be set aside. This is in no way to be construed as blackmail, just a friendly observation that my easy going naure and well documented refusal to judge people cannot be taken for granted indefinitely.
One of my favourite pictures of the year was the on below taken whilst playing golf with old pal Paul Thornton Allan in the summer. Wayward, in more than one sense of the word, this picture illustrates nicely his accuracy on the golf course. He has uncanny ability to discover parts of the golf course that no other players have ever visited, indeed some of the more densely wooded parts may never have been explored before by man. I believe that it shows his true intrepid spirit, perhaps it illustrates an enquiring mind, although I guess it is arguable that his golf technique requires honing, and here I should say that my gift to him for his birthday was a golf lesson.
I know my golf ball is in here somewhere
Just a few days to go before 2011 commences, but my work with Currencies Direct continues unabated. As Neil Young once memorably intoned “rust never sleeps” and I think that sums up my tenacity in ensuring that as many of the people I meet can be allowed to learn about the folly of using their banks for foreign exchange transfers. One does not seek reward for such missionary work but a nice case of wine for best missionary activities in this respect for November is not only well deserved by much needed tp boost to the dwindling wine stocks of this household.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
New years resolution; Sarkozy on a diet?
I am writing this “whilst sitting on my arse” as it was described by that nice lady decorator, who I suppose is understandably is little miffed not to have her love god of a husband join her in her bed last night, or indeed the night before due to the fantastic England performance in the Fourth Ashes Cricket Test in Melbourne.
For some reason, it appears to be my fault that we have Sky HD and they have chosen to cover this match. It is imperative that in these circumstances as history is being made and I need to witness it as it happens, after all, we can all remember where we were on 9/11. That is how important is the Ashes series against Australia to an English man suffering from 30 years of Australian cricketing domination and humiliation is to me.
Sarkozy out for a walk in northern France
I am continuing my festive theme today of choosing my favorite photos from the year. Today I am featuring a photo I took in northern France when lost looking for a hotel on the way back to England. I suggested in the blog that day that the owner told me that the pigs name was Sarkozy, but I may have mis-heard the owner as I am not good at french dialects.
So the new year is approaching and the time is coming to consider new years resolutions. I had fleetingly considered that I should try to be a bit nicer to Banjo, the overbearing and obese cocker spaniel weighing in at over 35 kilos, mainly because he eats everything he can see or smell, including most recently some very expensive drugs. I say fleetingly but regular readers might think that I am being economical with the truth, that I never even considered it, but they are wrong. The dog is so deranged he barks at lawn rakes, lawn mowers and if he ever showed up in the garden he would probably bark at the lawn ranger, but new years resolutions don’t have to be positive in intent. For instance, I could resolve to tie him to a tree with a muzzel fitted, and then play “Who let the dogs out” through some speakers. I know he would not have the sense to understand the joke but it would be give me pleasure.
One resolution that is easy to make and keep to will be to continue my missionary work of educating the ex patriot bank loving community that they can save money on foreign exchange transfers by opening an account with Currencies Direct.
Clearly I need to make some kind of resolution pertaining to that nice lady decorator. I am thinking about trying to get her some more decorating jobs, so please contact me if you need any decorating jobs doing, she good and cheap, and she clears up nicely after her, due mostly to the quality training I have invoked over the years.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Is the coke a patholic?
I knew it was all starting to unravel on Christmas eve when that nice lady decorator, when asked of we should order another bottle of wine said “is the coke a patholic?”. The day was marked by the fact that I had to pay 3 bills, one for lunch, one for post lunch drinks, and one for very much post lunch drinks, all at the same restaurant the Cafe Des Arcades. I thought this merited special mention, if only for my tenacity for bill paying.
As it was the season of goodwill, personal insults were being bandied about with gay abandon. I believe at one stage Iuean, Melissa Graves gardener, was described as a metro sexual – a straight guy who dresses well but in a trendy hidden sexual way-, and later Melissa, when talking about her husband Nigels’ nose described it as “blocking out the sun”. A dozen or so revellers ensured lunch did not finish until we were chucked out at around 7 30pm.
Having reviewed my notes of the event, and been frankly appalled at the evidence of bad behavior, I have decided to draw a quiet line under events and in the spirit of Christmas, forgive those that sinned and scrap my notes.
As it is Christmas, I have decided to select my favorite picture from the year today, and the lucky winner is Bill Colegrave for this pose at Paul Thornton Allans 60th birthday celebrations in the summer;
- Picture of the year, Bill Colegrave “relaxing” at a summer
barbecue
And so, its now all over, or at least it should be, but apparently Christmas is scheduled to run for a further eleven days, so they we can encompass all those lords a leaping , partridges and french hens and the like. Like many I have sat in front of the TV getting ever grumpier about the repeats and rubbish like celebrity Christmas Dancing etc but it has all been very inspiring for my Happy Mondays Mr Angry angloinfo blog.
I have been tucking into a rather nice Pomerol 2003 whilst that nice lady decorator has been paying her respects to a Montrachet and I am not certain I have the stamina to stay up all night watching cricket. Earlier in the day the traditional opening of presents was enlivened by the dogs opening their presents. That nice lady decorator would not let me supply the present for Banjo as for some reason she seemed to think I may not have very festive intentions for the catastrophic cocker spaniel. I don’t have any idea how her suspicions were aroused as I do not recall ever suggesting that I would in any harm her precious canine cock up, but I had no intention of doing anything but helping him with any worming issues. I had thought that he might thank me for a years supply of worming tablets all stuffed into a nice bone but perhaps the years supply of laxative was slightly too concentrated.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Magistrate in curly wig horror
Unfortunately the weather cleared yesterday so my planned excuse for the dearth of Xmas gifts was destroyed and thus my pockets are considerably lighter this morning.
Banjo the four-legged fool has been sneezing a lot, which serves him right for stealing and eating most of the very expensive drugs I purchased yesterday for a sinus problem. I think he would have been better off using the spray properly rather than trying to eat it, but as his intellectual level is one electron short of a synapse (no I don’t understand that either but it used to make my mother laugh) I suppose I should not be surprised.
So a walk into Valbonne to empty my pockets in the direction of those poor traders who have had a dire run up to Xmas, where I meet our resident out of work magistrate Mr Humphrey (he was free) in circumstances other than Cafe Latin. He was searching the market stalls for any item that would help make him look likes a rock star for a Christmas Party (must be a bad taste event). A less likely rock star could hardly be imagined, with his short back and sides haircut and a studious bearing that belies his intellectual capacity. I agree to lend him a studded collar and a Brian May style curly wig that I have in my wardrobe. He makes a good point about why I should have such items in my possession but I tell him that the nice lady decorators fantasy about Brian May and my answer to it must remain a secret between us (god I hope she doesn’t read this today! oops, did I say god at Christmas, Jesus, oops).
However I was able to secure a promise of a picture of him dressed up for this column, so watch this space. His delectable wife Helen told us she was going to dress up as a cute little girl for the party. Both Neil and I were on the same track, St Trinians, short skirts, suspenders, that kind of thing, but she has more Shirley Temple in mind. But now I come to think of it….
My artistic Christmas shot, looking into the Valbonne Christmas market from the entrance to the square
When trying to post the above picture and caption, the word “artistic” came up in the spell check as “autistic” which if I am honest, might be nearer the mark. Once more the Cafe Des Arcades was the lucky recipient of more of my hard-earned cash yesterday, and festivities extended on into that late afternoon where we were joined by any number of festive locals. I promised that I would not allude to any bad behaviour due to the Christmas spirit, but I would argue that the word “bad” is subjective, meaning different things to different people, so there will be a full report tomorrow after I have collated and edited the host of material that has been made available to me. Merry Christmas!
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Claustrophobic – a fear of Santa Clause?
Banjo has surpassed himself. I took delivery of some drugs for a sinus problem yesterday which I left on the stairs, just within reach of the malicious mutt Banjo whilst we popped out for an early evening engagement at the Cafe des Arcades in Valbonne. He had clearly decided that his sinuses were also in need of some attention, so in the long traditional of the kleptomaniac, he decided to steal my drugs and start his own course of medication presumably for his own sinus problems.
To say that I kicked his arse may be something if an understatement, but whatever punishment was meted out was richly deserved. But to counterpoint that my picture shows the Christmas spirit amongst animals;
Nice picture of old adversities in a truce at Christmas. But what happened next?
That reminds me of the old joke the Reverend Jeff used to tell as a double act in our youth; “my dogs go no no’s”, “how does he smell”? “Terrible”.
The occasion last night? There was no occasion, it was just an impromptu shopping/ social gathering in Valbonne. We planned to take pity on the stall holders at their Christmas market who have braved the most fearful three days of weather by buying some last-minute items (and make the best of the improved exchange rate but understandably many had packed up and gone home, so a vin chaud in the Cafe Des Arcades was called for on the way home but we found others of a similar mind with identical ideas.
It has been suggested that perhaps the stall holders had become claustrophobic, meaning that they had developed a fear of Santa Clause, but I don’t believe that to be the case.
Last minute Christmas presents are sometimes a real problem. I must be a very difficult bloke to buy for, a man who has almost everything he needs, but almost nothing that he wants. My daughter asked me earlier this month if I wanted an advent calendar, which I used to love as a kid, with a window to open every day of December right up to Christmas Day, but I was always disappointed with the picture or the manky bit of chocolate that was revealed. So I said I didn’t but then I thought about what I would like to see in one of these festive calendars and came to the conclusion that a Jehovah’s Witness calendar would be good, it should have 25 pictures of me saying “f**k off” to them from every window.
Christmas Eve (is that what Adam might have said in the Garden Of Eden, Christmas? Eve?) apparently requires my presence at lunch in Valbonne with other revellers, then there is some drinks at 4pm somewhere and then I think we are committed to a dinner engagement this evening, but you can see that it’s already its blur and I have a serious worry about Christmas Night. Clearly I must be in position, awake, in front of the TV for the commencement of the 4th Ashes Test in Melbourne in the early hours of Boxing Day, but in order to stay awake I will need to sleep sometime and at present I cannot see any window of opportunity for sleep in our packed schedule. I used to have a reputation for dozing off at dinner parties so perhaps I need to revisit this skill in the coming days.
If you thought you might get away with this blog not appearing over Christmas, think again, sleep and alcohol permitting, I shall be at the keyboard every day with more takes on the ideal rich at play in Valbonne.
Let me leave you with a Christmas joke “What do you call a reindeer with ear muffs?” – “anything you like, he can’t hear you”
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
In flagrante in Harrods?
Lunch at Pierre Rouges with Wayne from fr2day was followed by a return to our humble abode and that nice lady decorator insisting on watching Midsummer Murders on TV. That must be one of the most dangerous places in the world to live, there has been a murder every week for the last five years at least. In a population of several hundred this represents a mortality rate on a par with Auschwitz.
That nice lady decorator gets rather miffed when she thinks I have nodded off on the sofa after a large lunch, but what she fails to realise is that my work with Currencies Direct requires considerable planning and forethought. This is best undertaken in quiet undisturbed surroundings, and when Midsummer Murders is on the TV there is not much peace due to the high number of murders. Therefore I have had to develop a technique for deep strategic thought whilst blocking out all extraneous influences such as noise. She has begun to mistake this deep thought process (reminds me of a film in the 1970’s with Emmanuel something or other called Deep Thought?), but I digress, she has had the temerity to accuse me of sleeping. Because I am so adept at excluding outside noise and distractions from this thought process, she has mistaken this deeply intellectual yoga like state as slumber, and despite my best efforts I have been hitherto unable to convince her of the true nature of my deep thought process.
I had just achieved this state yesterday afternoon, before that nice lady decorator felt compelled to end this near state of intellectual nirvana by insisting I open another bottle of Sancerre.
Having been awoken disturbed from this trance, I began to write todays missive whilst sitting on the sofa, being exposed to Midsummer Murders, only to find that nice lady decorator asleep, as my picture today would show if I was daring enough. But I freely admit to seeking a quiet life, and living itself attracts me more than being murdered Midsummer style, which would undoubtedly be a possibility if I published the offending photo.
So today’s picture is of an urn which may well have held my ashes if I had been daring enough to publish the picture I wanted.
Tea Urn? - this is for all you Morecombe and Wise fans
Last night to the book signing ceremony at Le Bastide St Mathieu for Bill Colegrave and his recent publication “Halfway to Heaven”. I meet Anthony Bay and we swap dustman stories (yes I was once a “refuse collection operative”) before he reveals that before his assent into the upper echelons of society his career included being sacked as a shop assistant at Harrods.
Apparently he was caught “in flagrante” in a store-room at lunchtime after inadvertently (he says) inhaling some smoke from a spliff for which he utterly denies any responsibility. The girl was reprimanded and he was sacked. He claims this was a throw back to the previous year when the in store Santa Clause at Harrods was caught similarly compromised, but they could not sack him as he was a member of Equity, the actors union, so they sacked the other party. Anthony claims that his co offender got off with a reprimand but he was sacked. Clearly he (or rather his,) was a non-union member?
Bill is in ebullient form and proves that he can write his own name by signing a number of his books, but once again came off worse in the late night chess match, lasting a mere 7 moves against a former council house boy who’s name must remain anonymous but for arguments sake we will call him…
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Sour Cream and Moulin de Mougins
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? This is the question being asked of my old pal John Otway. He wrote a book outlining his career in the music business, It was called “Rock n Rolls’s Greatest Failure” but it sold very well, and he got a great deal of press coverage so, is he a success or a failure?
I have begun preparation for MIDEM, the largest independent gathering of music business professionals in the world, and which I have attended every year for the last 30 years. One of the meetings is with my lawyer, Nigel Davies at Davenport Lyons, so I will have to sew up my pockets. He recently did 4.5 hours work for me on a legal matter and suggested that his bill would be around £1700 + VAT, around 2000 Euros at today’s exchange rate. Once I had rescued by jaw from the floor and had in wired up, I began a discussion, or a negotiation about mitigating this cost somewhat, and we finally settled on £1000 plus VAT, plus he wants me to buy dinner at the famous Moulin De Mougins, the Michelin star restaurant. So if I agree that, it will still have cost me a little over £260 per hour and I get the dubious privilege of buying him dinner at a restaurant that I swore I would never go to again after appalling treatment last time. Nice work if you can get it!
The view from somewhere near the Moulin De Mougins, well Mougins anyway
My last trip to the for Moulin de Mougins reminds me for very obvious reasons that I bought some sour cream this morning. It was for some no doubt delightful culinary treat promised by that nice lady decorator, but I noticed it has a sell-by date, why is that? What is the point? It must be like cheese which matures over time, or what about wine. Don’t drink that Chateau Petrus 1947, it may have gone off, have some 2010 vin de table, that’s nice and fresh.
My meeting due at 4.30 yesterday was delayed until 6pm, which of course is apero time, so I was forced to eschew my determination to drink coffee today (despite the obvious motoring dangers I highlighted yesterday) as I had decided to try to live dangerously. The delay meant it was impossible to stay with this plan and instead I had a few glasses of wine in the Cafe Des Arcades in Valbonne and then I had to introduce Gudron, the Icelandic goddess, with whom I was meeting and my latest recruit to the ranks of Currencies Direct affiliates to La Kavanou, which despite the desperate weather was crammed. Thus in fact, I was working. That competes the case for the defence.
I arrived home at 7.45 and was informed that we were going for the last knockings of happy hour (which finishes at 8.00pm) for a Guinness at the Queens Legs in Valbonne, thus my attempts to have at least one day alcohol free failed spectacularly.
Recently, I cam across a website www.yachtownersdirect.com based apparently in Nice, I sent them an email extolling the virtues of Currencies Direct affiliation, and they responded positively. I suggested a meeting to finalise arrangements which they agreed to, but then came the sting in the tail, they have recently moved to Mauritious, thus I now have the task of persuading that nice lady decorator that I have to go there on business.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Yacht owner? http://www.yachtownersdirect.com/
Non drinkers are more dangerous drivers – official
As we are now fast approaching (spiralling downhill?) towards the Christmas period, I want to present you with a sobering statistic from the Department of Health in the UK. 23% of accidents occur where alcohol consumption was a factor. This is staggering, that means that 77% of all accidents are caused by people who drink water, coffee, tea, carbonated drinks or other dangerously nonalcoholic substances. You have been warned, but let me put it in perspective, if there is someone at a party drinking anything other the an alcoholic beverage then they are nearly three times more likely to be involved in an accident.
My piece in Riviera Woman has elicited some interesting responses. If you remember, I wrote a piece for the at on-line magazine suggesting that women where crap at business because they were more interested in what a person was wearing or how the smelt than the business details. It is far to say that I had my tongue fairly well inserted in my cheek, but one of the comments suggested that I should get out more, so clearly she never reads this missive!
When walking on Sunday up above Chateauneuf de Grasse I took this photo of the view down to the sea from the ridge. Sadly some oaf decided to get in on the act and it was only when I got home I realised that the composition of this picture had been somewhat compromised.
A will buy a drink for the first person other than the subject who recognises this man ruining my artistic picture of the sea as viewed from the ridge above Pre Du Lac
We were sadly saddled with taking the monstrous maniacal mutt Banjo with us but it almost turned out very well. We can across a hunter with an enormous shotgun. Perhaps I should not have thrown the ball into the bushes for Banjo at that very moment, but impetuosity overcame me at just the right second, anyway in the event no shots were fired, at least not in his direction, however a few verbal shots were fired at me by that nice lady decorator.
Last night to the first of the many Christmas gatherings, I am not at liberty to reveal the names of our hosts, but who else serves Chateau Gloria as if it was a house wine? As a result an already very convivial evening was underway and was then further enlivened by the first Montecristo No 2 of the season, but I should not have danced. I don’t dance, St Vitus Dance would be a fair description of my movements on those infrequent occasions when one of my dwindling number of female admirers manages to persuade me it is a good idea to dance and drags me onto the dance floor, hence this morning I shall not be partaking of my customary walk having pulled a fetlock or something similar. If I told my ill educated fridge magnet salesman friend Paul North I had pulled a fetlock, he would assume that I had met a woman from Essex. I do hope he doesn’t read the column today…
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
“Gullible” not in the English dictionary shock
Something has been worrying me. What would happen if there was no such thing as a hypothetical question? It is one of the questions I have been worrying about for some time.
As my friend Mark Gurdon once told me, it is a fact that the word gullible does not exist in the English Dictionary. I am embarrassed to admit that my first reaction was “really?, before the penny dropped. Talking of gullibility, one of my friends thought that the meaning of a karaoke evening is Japanese suicide night, and if you heard him singing you would know how he reached that conclusion.
A wonderful cork tree. This or more oil rigs? No contest
My picture today is of a cork tree. I took it at Le Provencal Golf Course recently. As you can see the tree itself is a lovely looking thing, but its existence in general is now under threat from the plastic stoppers that are becoming more fashionable. In an age where environmental concerns and sustainability are watchwords, I fail to understand why the natural option of using a naturally occurring product to seal wine bottles should be increasingly replaced by plastic stoppers ultimately made from oil which won’t break down for hundreds of years. There is also the tradition involved, corks have been used for thousands of years and are totally biodegradable. Avoid stoppers! I know I do, in fact it is a mission of mine to check as many bottles of wine as possible for corks rather than plastic stoppers.
On the other hand there is something that bothers me about ecology and the protection of endangered species. What would you do if you saw an endangered species eating an endangered plant? Or is that a hypothetical question?
The spreadsheet of social events starts, rather ominously for my liver, tomorrow evening and from then an takes the shape of an accelerating downhill spiral from then on right through to the new year and beyond. That nice lady decorator loves a party and usually accepts every single invitation we receive. This becomes a slight issue when there is more than one invitation for the same evening. Then, when one invitation has subsequently to be rejected, she blames it on me, saying I have double booked, which in diplomatic parlance is called being economical with the truth. As I often do not hear of many invitations in advance, this takes on more potential for confusion as I sometimes get admonished by my friends for being responsible for not attending an event, about which I had never been informed. Thus at a stroke I am saddled with the twin criticisms of ignorance and disorganisation. Life can be so hard.
After the Christmas market in Opio, the thirst overcame me and so we dropped into the Cafe Des Arcades in Valbonne for a mulled wine as it was so cold, I do hope the Landlubbers were enjoying the cold on their round on the frost hollow that is Opio Valbonne in winter!
The world of commerce however does not stop and today Dave The Fade will finally succumb to the delights of Currencies Direct. It has taken a mere two years to land him….
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Cruelty? an S in lisp
Who’s idea was it to put an s in the word lisp? Who was responsible?, did they not think that it might be a bit of a mouthful? It’s a cruel world as further evidenced by England’s cruel defeat by Australia in the third Ashes Test in Perth this morning, but at least the series is still alive. That is not necessarily good news for that nice lady decorator, as the next Ashes Test starts on Boxing Day in Melbourne and had we won at Perth, and thereby secured the series and The Ashes, I would have been content to await the highlights the next morning. Instead, because of the Australians heartless actions in winning the last match, I am compelled to sit up all night watching the next match, which will not thrill her. And who can blame her when there is the prospect of myself as a bed companion?
Yesterday, at short notice and because it was one of those brilliant winter days you get in the cote d’Azur, after several mulled wines in Valbonne Square, where the sun was warm enough to sit out at the Cafe Des Arcades, we descended on the Victoria Golf Course for 9 holes in the afternoon. By we, I mean myself, the wingco, Paul Thornton Allan with a notable 6 putts on one hole (he does like to get his moneys worth) and Le Rouret’s answer to Ronnie Corbett, Mark Gurdon. The round was enlivened somewhat by frost which descended upon us in the later afternoon, and before adjourning to the bar for a couple of Leffe beers, I took this picture;
The lake at Victoria Golf Course, with ice at one end
I believe last night after the wingco and his friends had invaded my house and drank most of my Christmas stocks of Bordeaux and Sancerre, and the entire stock of Mince pies, I was so shocked by the locust like deliberations and thirsty that I found it necessary to go to the Queens Legs for a couple of points of Guinness. I believe that was the case, but I may have dreamt it. With thirst satisfied, a glass of red wine and some tapas at La Kavanou seemed in order but I guess 2 bottles as far too much for the three of us (I have no recollection of who was the third but unless I was seeing double, there was definitely three people enjoying the Chenin Blanc, which rather confusingly is a red wine) .
This morning, to shake off the cobwebs a walk to the top of the ridge above Pre du Lac which is where I suddenly remembered that I had not written today’s episode, so after a brief and expensive visit to the Opio Christmas market, it was back to my work of entertaining my readership with tales of the idle rich of Valbonne.
A cholesterol reading of a mere 8.5 represents a considerable achievement if one starts from a figure over 10, but I feel certain that Doctor Pat will not be as pleased with me as I am with myself. I suspect that statins will be prescribed, despite the fact that there are a considerable number of these little brutes in red wine, and I try to drink as much as possible to reduce my cholesterol level. He will say, take it easy on the partying, but it is coming up to Christmas so what chance do I have? That nice lady decorator has a spreadsheet of the social occasions we are expected to attend, at least I believe she has, I have only a few small droplets of information as to our movements over the festive period, but no doubt my instructions will arrive shortly, in time for me to cost them and to be able to confirm that I cannot afford them, unless the £ recovers further.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Find A House in Cote d’Azur? www.frenchrivierapropertysearch.com
Monthly Riviera News? www.rivieratimes.com
Local ex pat information resource? www.angloinfo.com
Christmas, not for prophet?
I went to buy some Christmas presents yesterday, looking especially for a self-help book. I asked Lin Wolff the owner of the Valbonne bookshop where I could find the self-help section but she said it would kind of defeat the whole point if she told me.
Christmas a great party time, but apparently there is some kind of obscure religious connection, long submerged under a blanket of commercialisation. Personally I prefer atheism which is apparently a not for prophet organisation. I wonder if an atheist can get insurance against acts of god? Anyway, there are loads if Christmas markets springing up everywhere, there was one in Le Rouret last Sunday and one in Opio tomorrow, but the best one around takes over the old Valbonne village from 21st to 24th of December, where they usually lay red carpets through the village. That is very good of them, and I realise that they are eternally thankful for the astonishing effect that this blog has had in the commercial life of the village in my own mind, but I really don’t think I deserve it.
Yesterday, the airport run to collect that nice lady decorator was delayed sufficiently be the weather in England to have two effects, it enabled the contract cleaners time to depart before she arrived, but meant that I was too late to make the Auberge St Donat for lunch, and with the wingco delayed as well, and with Lou Fassum full,we adjourned to the Auberge Provencal in Plascassier for an excellent tartiflette, a wonderfully fattening and heart stopping winter meal. This was in partial celebration of the wingco finally succumbing to two years of pressure to become a Currencies Direct customer. Once again I had to buy him lunch, as that was what I was told I had agreed, but he seemed not to recall that I had bought lunch on two previous occasions in recognition of him signing the forms. Then I discovered to my horror that I had neglected to bring them. However, despite much evidence to the contrary, he is a gentleman and as good as his word and no doubt the on-line application form.
He still considers this column to be “ghastly” which implies that he must occasionally take a peak, whatever he says, or else how would he know that it is still ghastly?
German beware, Mick Pedley in his German shooting trousers
My rather poor picture today is of Mick “German shooting trousers” Pedley wearing the now near mythical garment. I fear for the health of any Germans in the vicinity. Tomorrow I am scheduled to play golf with the landlubbers where Mick will no doubt have an eye out for the dreaded hun, but rain is forecast so I will suddenly find myself with an urgent commitment that I have only very recently become aware of.
So Christmas is looming and once again we will persuade our children to sit on the lap of a bearded old man offering them presents whilst warning of paedophiles. I have always wondered why Father Christmas is so jolly, maybe it’s because of all the sherry’s he gets left, maybe it’s because he knows where all the bad girls live.
So once again I have taken to my sofa for the overnight cricket but the worm has turned and the Australians have gained what looked yesterday like an impossible advantage, so I will have to watch closely to see if England can dig their way out of their pit today. With the wingco today, I bought a Euro Millions ticket so I feel certain that our trip to Sydney for the last Ashes Test is now certain..
Chris France
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