A Decorator and black and white

There is no grey. With That Nice Lady Decorator there is only black and white. After a windy walk around the Cissbury Ring, which is not a euphemism, with Colin The Pirate (there is only one I in Colin) and Sandra his sultry goddess, in the late morning, we had a pit stop on the way home (OK, a little out of the way) at the 6 Bells at Lyminster, a quiet unassuming country pub, rescued by serving London Pride. Out of the blue, a plate of roasted potatoes were generously placed in front of us, and, being a (rather too) huge roast potato fan, I tucked in, and I think it is fair to say that I was not alone. As it turns out they had the opposite of the intended effect, as we had talked about perhaps trying out the pub lunch one day. The potatoes put paid to that. Nasty pre cooked, fluffy and tasteless, probably Brake Brothers produced at a guess, did nothing to persuade us to carry out that plan.

Now this is where the black and white theme kicks in. To me, the provision of roasties was an unnecessary but welcome treat, and although not great, I was impressed by the gesture. That Nice Lady Decorator however, was affronted, being of the opinion that a gesture such as this should have involved something more home cooked. She was still chuntering by the time we reached The White Hart, where we had booked for lunch at their new restaurant JAK. We had wanted to offer our support for this new venture, a separate business from the pub, as we had been impressed by the tapas served at the opening party. Sunday is limited to roast dinners, so what could go wrong we thought?

That Nice Lady Decorator at the Cissbury Ring with her black and white horror hound

Two courses for £16 is quite decent value, if those courses are to your liking and there is a decent amount of fodder to consume. The first signs of trouble came when there was no option of a starter. That Nice Lady Decorator does not do dessert, so already alarm bells were ringing. The roast pork duly arrived, a rather small amount for 4 people, but worse was to come. A small bowl of very nice roasted potatoes and parsnips arrived and was placed in front of me and my first though was that it was going to be OK. However, it transpired that the meagre rations were intended to satisfy all 4 of us. Cabbage is not one on my favourites, but faced with a huge mountain of it, I still thought it might work, especially as the carrots and long stem broccoli in garlic were delicious, but an unheated slate for the meat? It was cold before it got to my plate. Very tasty and good crackling, but cold.

Perhaps we could have survived this without a Decorating blow out, but when the second course option was sweet, with no cheese option, the Decorating Operative’s sense of humour “deserted” (can I say that without being accused to a cheap pun?) her. Manchego slices were hastily substituted from their tapas menu, but when a polite enquiry for cheese crackers was greeted with a firm but polite refusal, and after she had returned to our house to bring some of her own, I knew we were on a slippery slope. Perhaps the coup de grace (not a dessert – in fact had it been so that may have helped-) was that her Bring Your Own policy secured a positive but slightly sarky comment from the chef, and that was when the trouble started.

I could go on, but I think that would be counter productive. Better I thought to end on a high note with happy thoughts about the benefits of opening an account with Currencies Direct and to enjoy the pictures I took at the Friars Club Exhibition at the Aylesbury Museum, which you can seen by clicking on this link.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News