Clymping down on sunshine

Lunch at the Black Rabbit with that Nice Lady Decorators brother and his wife began badly with a telephone call to say that there house was flooding. Not because of the rain but due to a British Gas plumber failing to secure a pipe, so they had to go back to Oxfordshire, leaving us with her errant cousins Patrick and Peter. Given our own issues with plumbers this week, one could argue that they are the personification of the anti-Christ.

Another very unchristian act befell us soon after when I discovered that  their already pathetic wine list was minus the only decent Bordeaux on the menu. It should be clear to the moron in charge of the list that the only decent wine would need to be stocked in decent quantities as it is the only one in the menu that by self-respecting wine lover could order, but no, they are phasing out the Lussac St Emilion thus we were forced to have more beer in order to deaden the taste buds whist awaiting a very ordinary Malbec.

Noisiest of the  Decorators cousins is Peter, who has on occasions been employed as a lifeguard on Bondi Beach in Sydney. He has a cheeky chappie chipmunk face which seems to find favour with the females of the species, but despite this I have always liked him. I am about to like him even more as he revealed in a moment off loose talk that he has a bank account in Australia and will be returning there shortly. It was as this moment my Currencies Direct antenna were aroused, and if he wants to continue good press in this column then I shall expect his account to be opened by the end of today.

Earlier, we had taken the customary walk on the beach at Clymping in rare and unaccustomed brilliant blue sky weather, or what passes for it in the dank and rain-soaked wilderness that is West Sussex at the moment, and from where I took this picture. This is The most sunshine we have has since the middle of last week. Even the A 27, main south coast road, was closed yesterday due to flooding and Arundel looks like an island as the River Arun has invaded its entire flood plain in an effort to contain the water.

Sparkling blue skies on the south coast, why its almost like Cannes

I have come up with a master plan, I am going to give my followers a treat for Christmas: I am going to give my first book “Summer in The Cote d’Azur” away on kindle, the new fangled book reading machines, on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. It seems that the way to generate sales is to get reviews from people who have the book. I know of many of you out there with kindles who have yet to review my book on-line and I know where you live. Currently there are 5 reviews, so I shall expect to see that figure rise significantly over the Xmas period, otherwise I shall be naming names. Lets start with the lovely Leslie Bufton. You know what you need to do to avoid some of the information about you that I have making it into this column. One codicil: a review of less than 5 stars will have the same effect.

Christmas Eve will bring the inevitable last-minute rush to collect up those final presents, drinks and foodstuffs required for the big bash. The Sprogs suspect, perhaps quite accurately, that they have his and hers worm farms as gifts, as I have told them that they must keep upright the gift wrapped packages under the Xmas tree that have so intrigued them.  It would seem to be a very suitable gift, illustrating perhaps the insidious nature of their existence, worming their way into my pocket.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News