Freebies come at a cost

Obviously, when invited to a freebie golf  event where everything is free, including an open bar, it is not acceptable to get drunk and arrive home a little happy. That was the clear message I managed to detect from the countenance of that nice lady decorator yesterday afternoon. Had I been given the opportunity to explain that if one is ever in a position to make the banks pay for the aberrations visited upon one over the years, then one must grab these opportunities with both hands and enjoy to the fullest extent possible, then perhaps she would have understood. Instead I decided on an extended siesta to wait for calm to return.

A Texas scramble is a type of golf tournament where you play as a team. It is not some kind of deep south deep throat. Had it been so, then she may have had a point to argue, but all I had done was to drink and eat to the fullest extent possible to try to assuage the hurt the banks have visited upon me over the years. The best example of this was before I was enlightened by the services of Currencies Direct, I could have saved 33,000 Euros on one transfer from the UK, so to be the subject of such scorn that I personally feel should be reserved for child molesters or rapists, and  just because the results of my personal banking vendetta were a slight unsteadiness and the merest hint of slurring of words was quite hard to take, especially when it is usually I who has to clear up the mess caused by a certain other person in our household consuming enough wine for an extended family on regular occasions.

Anyway, back to the golf. A Texas Scramble is a team game. You link up with a another, on this occasion Gerald Gomis,  the head of the Cote d’Azur section of Leggetts the estate agents, who had kindly invited me to the golf day to try to beat other teams. However, it is also normal that the other partner contributes towards the team experience. This is clearly a concept that Gerald finds difficult to grasp. He is French after all, a charming man, but as a golfer he makes a good rugby player. Of the team points total of 39, he contributed 2 points. It was not for want of trying, indeed on the golf course he can be the most trying of company, but our efforts went unrewarded due to a catastrophic error in the scoring systems.  Such is life with banks as I have learned to my cost over the years.

speedos or not speedos? you decide

More comments about speedos, especially from the female of the species has caused me to look deep into the vaults of my photos for something to entertain you today, and I have found it and show it above. This picture was taken aboard the naked politicians boat a few weeks ago, and is perhaps a final comment on the open discussion in this column on the subject of speedos, and their relative merits.

I am slightly bemused by the system that I use to create this daily diatribe. It is called wordpress, and when you want to insert a picture it gives one the message “insert into post”. I do hope this is not literal advice related to speedos and merely an unfortuante turn of phrase. I am also a little uneasy with the section where one creates a headline: “Enter title here” seems a little presumptuous as there are those amongst us who have yet to have bestowed upon them a title,  and the subsequent right to abuse the expenses system that such a reward seems to engender.

Chris France