Le Tour De Finance peaks

I remember when Madonna went through a phase of wearing an absurd outfit that enhanced, or perhaps that is the wrong word for it, reshaped is probably better, her breasts into a conical shape, and I was unlucky enough yesterday to be able to photograph Paul Thornton Allan doing his best to emulate her in his own peculiar way.  Lunch in the web had been convened at very short notice (to me) to the point where I was unable to collect the usual juicy gossip and lurid photographs I normally hope to secure after playing golf with the Landlubbers, as I had to leave straight afterwards to attend.  The fact that Paul had cut the end off a Monte Christo Number 2 cigar, arguably  the best cigars known to man, in order to illustrate this  illusion should  be taken for what it is, an old man has had too much to drink (amongst the treats was a bottle of Chateau Boise, a little dig at me I think as I am sometimes known as Boycie) and makes a fool of himself for the amusement of his friends. He was destined to be the butt of humour all afternoon, unlike Pete Bennett from Blue water, who got away very lightly whilst wearing pink as my picture of him in the background illustrates;

Man with cigar fetish gets the "Madonna" look wrong

Talking about trying to amuse ones friends, my theme for today’s Angloinfo blog is my Italian exploits earlier in the week, when that nice lady decorators car was towed away and we managed to fuse the electricity supply to half a hotel trying to get a French plug out of an Italian socket.

Amusement is over now though, the working week requires my attention, well at least until lunchtime, up until which time  I shall be continuing my promotion of that most wonderful of tours Le Tour De Finance. Whilst not on the scale of a tour by, say, ZZ Top, whom I note are appearing in Nice in July, it is in the same town, but I expect it be a rather more genteel affair with none of that nasty loud rock music, merely a number of well-informed experts from every conceivable financial field on hand to advise you about how to avoid the many financial pitfalls that await the unsuspecting in France. Even better, you get free wine and nibbles courtesy of Currencies Direct. The last tour date in this are takes place on Tuesday between 5 30 and 8 30pm at the Boscolo Hotel in central Nice, and probably afterwards upstairs on the hotels fantastic terrace overlooking the sea.

I may go on the train to Nice, although I am still a bit traumatised after last time by an odd train of thought. I sat on the train opposite the gorgeous Thai girl and I kept think don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection, and then she did.

So the Cannes Film Festival is over, next up the Monaco Grand Prix next weekend. At present I have not yet accepted any number of invitations not to attend the big event in Monte Carlo, so unless I get one, plan B will come into effect and we shall take the camper van up to Castelain to see if she can be trusted to behave herself , as the plan is to head off into the wilds of south-west France in July. You may think linking the Grand Prix with a camper van trip a bit incongruous, but to my mind, both involve many hours of pushing machinery to the brink in the fiercest of conditions and both events will no doubt end in a lot of partying and drinking.

Chris France