Palm Pilot? code for masturbation?

England cricketer Steven Davies has come out of the closet and declared that he is gay, but has been the subject of some unfortunate phrases in the Daily Telegraph. Statements like “the team are 100% behind me”, and the coach offering to “ring round” the team could perhaps have been phrased differently, although then it would perhaps have been robbed of the humour that perhaps only I divine from these comments.

And talking of dodgy sexual statements, a prime example of this particular animal came to light yesterday. At a lunch at the Bastide St Matthieu yesterday to celebrate the birthday (again) of Lisa Thornton Allan, it was revealed by the miscreant herself, one of the wives in our midst, whose name I cannot reveal, but of whom I am certain the wingco may have carnal knowledge, allowed her “amour” to get the better of her. The event in question took place some 2 years ago at the Cannes Film Festival whilst she was attending a launch of a film with Brad Pitt and Matt Damon.

Standing on a balcony 20 yards away from this exalted group, our anonymous heroin shouted “I love you George” sufficiently loudly for him to respond with a wink and a thumbs up. If my opinion is to be respected, and the feelings expressed were heterosexual, and here I must emphasise for any UK libel lawyers reading that this a personal opinion in no way supported by any fact currently in the public domain, then it may be that the miscreant had misdirected her adulation.

The fact that this paragraph follows a piece about the “coming out” of an English cricketer is pure coincidence and can in no way be connected with the previous paragraph. Personally I am indebted to George for using “Itchycoo Park” in his recent film “Men Who Stare At Goats”, mainly because I retain a small interest in that song.

Discussion at lunch turned to a recent TV programme dedicated to out takes from films and TV shows. It seems that Brian Blessed, renowned Shakespearian actor, when screwing up a film link about a Palm Pilot, which is reputedly some kind of hand held device, as a prize on a TV programme, got flustered and when asked to try to retake the link was heard to say “and why am I promoting a machine for masturbation?” although perhaps he put this a little more graphically in her own vernacular.

In my new-found position as the ears and arbiter of gossip in Valbonne, I have discovered that one of our number has a description of a cement mixer down as a mig mig moo. How quaint? It seems that this reflects the sound it makes in operation. Were I the wingco having been “outed” in such a manner, I would be slightly sheepish, but as he refuses point-blank to find the latest Valbonne news by reading this comment, he will have to remain ignorant of his outing..

That nice lady decorator is always accusing me of looking down on Banjo, and here is a classic example

My picture today is one I have stored from our walk last week along the coast at Theoule Sur Mer.

Currencies Direct tour de finance starts on Tuesday and it is only fair that any difficulties and problems are ironed out before it arrives on the cote d’Azur in May. I need it to be functioning at full capacity before it arrives here in the garden of France, which is slightly different from the garden of the Frances.

Finally, I would just like to point out that there has not be a single plug today for Currencies Direct….until now, damn.