Old peoples home killer shock

December 29, 2010

tags: Australia, Brisbane, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Jimmy's killer prawns, Living In France, Melbourne, Moving To France, The Ashes 2010, Tim bucktwo, Valbonne

Given my impending entry in only a few short years into the vast and quickly expanding ranks of those lucky enough to receive free bus passes, I am all in favour of the building of more old people’s homes, I just think placing one a mere 50 meters from Jimmy’s Killer Prawns is possibly a bit insensitive, unless Jimmy is planning to open a local branch of Gravitas?

A surprise 18th birthday party held for the daughter of good friends the night before last produced a very good attendance of parents of her friends, many of who would go to the opening of an envelope. A convivial evening involving locals and former locals visiting for Christmas was well underway but sadly the ranks of those parents was quickly depleted as the teenagers who do not live down here permanently and therefore have little exposure to moderate drinking, gradually vomited themselves into oblivion. If ever there was an argument for exposing teenagers gradually to alcohol with a glass of wine at dinner, this was it.

The power of “persuasion” rather than blackmail has had the desired effect and I am thus now able to publish the picture to which I alluded yesterday.
It us of course of Ozzy Osbourne masquerading as out of work magistrate Neil Humphreys (he was free when this picture was taken). What I am now waiting for is the picture of his delightful wife and well-respected local artist Helen “Lolitta” Humphrey in whatever little girl outfit she eventually settled on.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

The maximum sentence that a magistrate can impose is apparently two years in prison. This seems totally inadequate retribution for the sins that are being visited in the above picture, seems like this one is destined for the Crown Court.

Last night to a superb dinner thrown by some very respected and powerful people who claim to their professional careers have been not exactly enhanced by appearing in this blog. It is now very possible that if you appear by name in this column, that if googled, that name will come up in the top page of their rankings (potential advertisers like Currencies Direct please take note). This has the rather alarming consequence that I may have either to reign in my reporting of some events, or change the names to protest the guilty. Thus last night for instance, I was at dinner with Tim Bucktwo, Lady Jill, Ghana Henry the chemist, Voluptous Vinetta and that nice lady decorator. The evening was so convivial it extended past the deadline I had in mind to return to my sofa and enjoy the final confirmation of retention of The Ashes by the mighty English cricket team over the Australians, and only just got home in time for the final over, and the result that I had begun to engineer with my support in Brisbane for the first match of the series. I cannot leave this column without congratulating the English cricket team on an astounding victory in Melbourne, a fantastic achievement in Australia where we have lost 10 out of the last 11 matches. The problem is, what am I going to do tomorrow night?

Chris France

Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance

Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/

Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/

Best French Riviera Property Agent?

http://www.afa-international.com/

http://frenchriviera-properties.com/

Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514

Rent a private villa in Provence? www.cotdazurvillarentals.com

Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/

Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/

Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/