Australian Batsman “Didn’t stay in long”

December 9, 2010

tags: Australia, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Helen Humphrey, Living In France, Moving To France, The Ashes 2010, Valbonne

I hear about a girl in Australia who makes a complaint about a sexual assault. When reporting the incident, she is able to identify the culprit as an Australian batsman because he “didn’t stay in that long”. Those of you who have even a rudimentary knowledge of cricket might think that this joke is in bad taste, but surely only if you are Australian?

Lunch at Goeland on the beach in Cannes with that nice Lady decorator is enlivened by the consumption of several bottles of rose, following a visit to the Christmas market. She is kind enough to ask me what I would like for Christmas but sinks into something of a sulk when I suggest a plane ticket to Sydney to go to the 5th Ashes Test on 3rd January.

My picture today was taken in Nice in the window of a famous chocolatier. You may not be able to see from the photo, but melted chocolate is flowing constantly in the window dressing scene. I am afraid to say that I am reminded of an expression used by a former fellow cricketer after far too many beers and late curry. The expression “Billy Brown Tail” will remain in my memory banks forever, despite whatever I do to try to erase it.

Chocolate will never be the same again

The Christmas spirit is now omnipresent. This year I have decided it will be brandy. Seriously though the festering season is looming into view and the Valbonne carol service to which I alluded yesterday takes place this Friday at the pretty Valbonne Church. Valbonne itself is very pretty at night at this time of year and stages its own Christmas market for several days in the run up to Christmas and is well worth a visit.

Golf with the REGS on Saturday at Le Provencal takes the form of a shotgun start at 9am. I made my protest that it was far too early, but when it was explained to me by my sheep fancying compatriot, Steve Weston, that it was designed to allow the society to buy all the members lunch thereafter and to have plenty of time to enjoy it, I admit to having had my reservations quashed.

The exhibition of paintings by acclaimed artist Helen Humphreys takes place in Valbonne tomorrow and Saturday at Galerie de CasaBlù, Rue Eugène Giraud Valbonne Village. I am thinking of commissioning her to paint something pleasing for me, maybe a picture of the Valmasque forest, with Banjo the intellectually challenged Cocker spaniel running wildly into the forest disturbing the peace as is his want, and some hunters with extra-large guns, carefully taking aim….

Actually I have realised that it seems that Banjo and Steve Weston my sheep loving friend have something in common, they both love sheep, but as far as I am aware only one of them ever chases or as I think the term used is “worries” sheep. That of course must be Banjo?

Chris France

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