Australians get Hummered

December 4, 2010

tags: Australia, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Hummer, Living In France, The Ashes 2010, Tommy Cooper, Valbonne

I am staying on Australian time during the current test match so this morning at a little after 6am we went to La Kavanou wine bar in Valbonne. At first I was surprised that it was so dark, and everyone else thought it was Friday evening whereas I knew it was Saturday early morning, so I apologise for what you may consider is a late posting due to the time difference.

Executive transport Australian style

Of course drinking early in the day is not something I would normally condone, in fact it can lead one to getting Hummered, which is possibly the worst excuse I have ever used for a picture. It was taken in Brisbane a few days ago and shows a stretch Hummer owned by a company called Get Hummered.

Amongst those enjoying a hummering this morning were Jill and Tim Biscayne, and George Benson look-alike Henry and his ebony goddess of a wife Vinetta. I made the mistake of attempting to explain the intricacies of test cricket to her and I am certain I did not convey properly the magical attraction of the game in which England, for so many years the whipping boy of Australia, are as I write, grinding the Aussies into the dust in the second Ashes Test. For me it is a must see spectacle which is why my bed has been on the sofa for the last two days and will remain there for the next three days, weather permitting.. That reminds me of old Tommy Cooper joke about sleeping like a log and waking up by the fireplace.

The Australians in the crowd often wear camouflage clothing to the cricket, so I went shopping out there but I couldn’t see any. Talking of camouflage, that nice lady decorator was on top form last night (or yesterday morning depending upon which time frame you adopt) although slightly clouded by a bout of flatulence, which she denied was her and tried to hide without success. She asked me if I had anything for wind so I suggested a kite.

Unbelievably, some of the cold weather that has blighted England recently has turned up in Valbonne. There is some snow on the hills behind us if you get my drift and this morning my swimming pool was frozen. So with Christmas spirit in mind, today we will go and get our Christmas tree. Of course it is really a dead pine with some glitter stuck on it, but it will do the job. My suggestion that we should go to Australia for Christmas has clearly been dismissed as I am hearing of plans made for social occasions over the festive period. As usual I have not heard this from my social diarist, that nice lady decorator, but from friends who say things like “I hear you are coming over for Christmas drinks”. Obviously I have no executive authority when it comes to social engagements, merely the responsibility for financially supporting them!

Chris France

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