“Doors to manual”, royal shock

A lovely dinner at the evil-smelling Hotel Des Ambassadeurs in Juan Les Pins courtesy of HSBC Antibes might have been a welcome respite from non stop work, had I not been working on behalf of Currencies Direct.  Networking is best done on social gatherings, so regular readers will know just how hard-working I am. Local characters such as the mythical financial advisor Rod Mitchell were enjoying the hospitality. Mythical because no one is completely certain he exists, and most of his clients are certain he does not know how to dial out, such is his reputation, cheerfully accepted, of not returning calls. Media types rubbed shoulders with bankers and I caught Wayne Brown from FR2day in typical flow with Ab, president of the Riviera Business Club in my picture today.

It's all about me, Wayne Brown on the left talks to Ab Kujyer

I am asked by stunning blond new friend Jill Bausch to “walk” her and her visiting and very attractive friend Pippa into the wine bar in Valbonne last night, so what is a man to do when his wife is away? Answer, he must give up an evening to entertain two very attractive ladies.

As it turned out it was they who entertained me. They insisted on buying the drinks and then dinner at the Moroccan restaurant in Valbonne. I cannot reveal the name of the Member of Parliament to whom Pippa is married, mainly because it was not revealed to me. I seem to recall laughing all evening but my favourite repeatable moment came when I asked if she had children and she replied that she had two step-monsters.

Amongst the many stories I heard, almost all to which I had to pledge secrecy, she regaled us with a story about Kate Middleton’s mother, the mother of our future kings consort, who was once an airline stewardess. I will never hear the expression “doors to manual” again without having to laugh.

As the wine flowed, one of my regular failings became exposed. I firmly believe that I am attractive to women, and become more certain of this the more wine that I consume. Thus I suspected (well fantasised actually) that they might expect something in return in the bedroom department so I wisely and graciously left the 5 Euro tip and then asked what they had in mind for me as I had paid for dinner.  I don’t quite know what I did wrong but suffice to say that the evening finished very soon after.

Again, ever since I can remember, I have also considered (more so after a few drinks) that I understood women, but it may be time for me, in the light of mounting evidence to the contrary, (or no mounting evidence perhaps?) to face the fact that I may be wrong in this respect. However, undeterred, I have submitted my proposed article to Rivera Woman, a magazine that seems dedicated to furthering the claims of women in business, so I am hoping I got this one right.

The piece seeks to argue that women are crap in business because they judge by appearance and rely on intuition rather than addressing the facts. It is a mighty work and I look forward to its imminent publication. Or not.

Chris France

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