Tumescence at boiling point?

October 24, 2010

tags: Bastide St Mathieu, Bill Colegrave, Buchanwold, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Ex Pats Golf, Golf in Valbonne, Living In France, M Gotti, Moving To France, Valbonne

Golf yesterday morning with the Landlubbers was at the Grande Bastide aka The Big Bastard as described by my old friend Paul North. In the absence if Dave the Fade, who is still looking for his descendants in Australia, our happy group has voted sheep loving Steve Weston to be in charge, a bit like leaving Garry Glitter in charge of a kindergarten.

I don’t know why I have never thought of it before, but I was drawn to play with, or rather should I say play alongside Gordon Weston. Now it seems too far fetched to imagine that they are not related, so I suggested to Gordon that Steve might be his love child.

I was surprised by the reaction of the young Weston, suggesting that knowing his mother it was eminently possible but I thought I saw a tear in the eye of Weston senior, was that a cry from the heart for a lost son?but that may have been a tear of joy at being able to remove 10 Euros from my wallet by way of a palpably unfair bet that I was stupid enough to enter into.

Also unfairly taking advantage of an old man was gruff northerner Dave Goddard, with whom I also played enjoyed a round of golf, pictured today in typical Yorkshire pose.

Gruff northerner Dave Goddard finds the equivalent of an up market urinal in Yorkshire

Eventually, the young Weston managed to divert the conversation around to the subject of sheep. Sheep in Valmasque in particular. We were talking about the possibility of, on our next outing, playing at the Riviera Golf Club in Mandelieu. This was enough for Steve who claimed that they have a pet sheep at the course, and that there are sheep in the Valmasque, the forest that surrounds the golf course. Like a lamb to the slaughter young Weston went on to describe the traditional annual movement of sheep from the high pastures into the valleys as to find fresh pasture as tumescence.

I thought the word had a very different meaning, but before the whole thing grew out of proportion (sic) and upon my questioning, he clarified that he meant transhumance, apparently the french or originally Latin expression for this twice annual sheep trek to find pastures new. However, a cynic may suggest that for Steve, the connection in his mind between the two words may be further raw material for his therapist. It certainly works for this column!

Last night for drinks at the Thornton Allens, where we meet once again Bill Colegrave. He tells a story about an old friend staying at their wonderful La Bastide St Mathieu who knew M Gotti, a famous local former mayor of Plascassier who was very active in the resistance locally when the Germans occupied France during the Second World War. Bill, always fascinated by history, invited him over for breakfast to find out more about his war-time exploits. What Bill had failed to consider was that the other guests at his hotel were charming but elderly German couples. He says he mentioned it once but think he got away with it. He suggests that M Gotti’s revelations his time with Eisenhower, his war-time battle scars and his visit to Buchanwold were very interesting, at least to him…

Chris France

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