Killer Queen – apt name

August 6, 2010

tags: Blue water Yachting, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Ex Pats Golf, fr2day, Golf in Valbonne, Living In France, Moving To France, Valbonne

Despite having to get up in the middle of the night to play golf at a 6 55 am tee off time at Opio Valbonne, the handicap system finally threw up the right result. Modesty forbids me revealing the winner but I think regular readers may have an inkling.

Protagonists were Brian Robertson, Peter Bennett from Blue Water Yachting and his brother Andy. Brian has the unfortunate affliction of being Scottish, for all that he is a charming man who has none of the almost omnipresent traditional Scottish meanness about him, generously missing a put (of about 40 feet) on the last green for a half.

Andy Bennett however was entirely different. Dressed as he was, rather inappropriately, in those garments that are neither shorts nor long trousers, but stuck somewhere in between.
Apparently garments of this nature are de rigueur on the council housing estates of Great Britain and although I am happy for those sad unfortunates to find a uniform they feel comfortable in, I for one hope the fashion will not spread.

He made several comments that indicated he was not local, and indeed he is here on vacation. “A south of France 4” was one expression I noted which seemed to imply that the rules of golf are not applied as strictly down here as in England. However his mathematical acumen was found wanting when it was patiently explained to him that 3 hits and a penalty made 4. I think he got it eventually but there some muttering and gnashing of teeth.

Later on the terrace nursing a cold beer at the 19th, Peter tried to explain to his mathematically challenged brother the city practice of “shorting”. After torturous and repeated explanations he was clearly none the wiser, I believe that it will still be the expression he uses when on visits his barbers, although when one is as folically impoverished as he, I imagine visits of that nature are quite rare.

Peter Bennett however, like his business Blue Water Yachting, exudes class. That was until a couple of pieces of bad luck seemed to light a blue touch-paper within, the classy swing disappeared and was replaced by a whirling dervish, seemingly intent on hitting every drive 300 metres. However at the 19th that icy calm veneer returned, not even to be disturbed by brother Andy “noticing” a rather attractive young waitress and making several very obvious trips to the bar to get a better look by retrieving peanuts, etc.

Last night Le Pylone campsite, our current home, offered the supposed delights of a band calling themselves Killer Queen. This was too delicious a prospect to miss, with a great deal of comedic potential. One of the great bands of all time who became a pastiche of themselves in later years, pastiched? However they were so awful it was not even funny. The lead singer was a girl. She was quite a large lass, but seemed oblivious irony of opening with “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Her inability to sing was matched by the joint ineptitude of the band, and after the destruction of several more Queens songs, The joke wore thin and we left for the bar up the road which had a great old jazz/blues band playing who I picture here

Band in Biot, actually Killer Queen should be band in Biot

Sunday sees a significant event. One of my close friends, whose name I cannot reveal, will be entering his 7th decade. A surprise intimate lunch will be taken after 9 holes of golf at Le Provencal in nearby Sophia Antipolis. One of those attending will be Wayne Brown at FR2day, who is so decrepit nowadays he says he will only come if he can have a buggy, drive it, have females to attend to his every need and doesn’t have to hit a golf ball.

Chris France

buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance

Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/

Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/

Best French Riviera Property Agent?

http://www.afa-international.com/

http://frenchriviera-properties.com/

rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514

Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/

Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/

Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/

Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com