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Sick on shoes secret revealed

July 26, 2010

After a walk around Kirklington Park, lunch was taken at the Lions of Bledlow, in Buckinghamshire. Paul North is in attendance and is not drinking due I suspected, to his training programme in advance of the golf today.

I ask the reason, he is renowned as being able to consume upwards of 40 bottles of beer on one session. Long suffering wife, Ellen, mentions his trip to South Africa for the football World Cup, and a trip to Spain to see the final, and I realise that he has had his beer head to for several weeks.  He at least has the good grace to look sheepish.
 
He has a plaster on his finger, claiming to have sliced off the tip of it, which I know is a desperate attempt to postpone our contest, but I will not hear of it.  His self harming is clearly a worry.  It is an indication of the mental stress that will he will suffer when handing over £15 that will owe me at about 3pm this afternoon.

From the Lions, we visit our house in Weston Turville, via The Chequers, our old haunt, from which that nice lady decorator disgraced herself when we first bought the house in 1995.

The Chequers is a fine old pub, about 100 yards from our house on the way there, but at least 300 yards on the way back. We are invited to stay in our own house by old friends Jeff Newton and Jo, his partner, who are  enting it whilst building their own. For those that don’t know the story of that nice lady decorators disgrace, here is a potted version.

Having completed the purchase of Sannie Cottage, in November 1995, we were invited by the landlord at The Chequers to the New Beaujolais Night to welcome us to the village.

This was 6 days after we had moved in.  At about midnight, I could not find the current Mrs France, but then, through the bar window, I spotted her in the car park. It turned out that she had been sick on her shoes, but desperate to continue the party, and thinking that the dogs needed a walk, she decided to stumble home, and come back to the party with the dogs whilst  wearing her slippers. I leave it to you to decide how seriously we were treated by the village elders thereafter.

Anyway, we revisited The Chequers, after far too much beer at the Lions, and before you could say Lance Armstrong, the girls were riding about on bikes.

Not full-sized bikes, you understand. But kids bikes, as my picture of Jo shows.

Tour De France, weston Turville style

As if that embarrassment was not enough, we agree to meet Debbie and Simon Barrett at the Chequers in the evening. Simon, who would be ginger if he was not folically challenged, has two redeeming features; 1, he has a beautiful wife, always welcome wherever I am, and 2, he usually carries a good stock of cigars and kindlt brought me a Montecristo No 2.

Regular readers will realise that he is hopeless when it comes to weather forecasting, and supremely gullible in his hopes that a good forecast might be accurate. Today for instance, was guaranteed to be dry, but spots of rain were felt on our morning walk. Simon is convinced it has not rained in England since January.

However, after a long lunch and more drinks at The Chequers, with me making inapropriate ginger references,  noticed and commented upon by Simons sons who are both of a slightly orange hue, more  old friends appeared and thats all I remember, and that concludes the case for the defence

Chris France      

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