Semi Naked Dirty Dancing in Chateauneuf

I have awoken not in my own bed, but on the pav after a night almost beneath the stars. That nice lady decorator (formerly known as the resident plasterer) has gone to make the tea whilst I try to remember the sequence if events that brought me to be here. I have taken picture from where I am lying whilst I write this.  

Room with a view - from the pav at dawn

The party last night in the fabulous setting on the terraces at le Peyloubet was highly entertaining. I will be claiming half of my winnings from Mr Thornton Allan as Nick Davies was he naked before midnight, and was otherwise on typical form, which is exactly the reason that any mother would be entitled to worry!  

With views down to the sea more than 15 miles away and stretching from Theoule in the west to Nice in the East, it is a truly stunning location there must be so much more money than I thought in selling singing Birthday cards.  

I am piecing together events, one of our party asleep on a sofa, ( I am too polite to name him but Pul T A will know who I mean), that nice lady decorator was dirty dancing with our host (actually its the only kind of dancing he does, and frankly he would dance with anyone, even soliciting my good self as I tried to sneak past without catching his eye  for another of Bridie’s wonderful samosas), Marc Wolff wearing a lamp shade on his head. 

Other token attempts to adopt the Asian theme of the party include Neil Humphrey’s ninja hat, sadly made out of cardboard, Micheal “I’m not gay” Walker in a jaunty sailors hat perched cheekily on the top of his head – he must have had trouble driving there wearing that in his powder blue (!) Audi. Perhaps he was looking for trouble? 

A chap whose name I did not get was wearing a kilt, and when I asked him how he imagined his sartorial offering was in any way Asian he replied that he had been shipwrecked in Indonesia. Obscure you may think? And you would be right.  

Wayne Browns only nod towards the theme was to wear a bright scarf over his normal scruffy attire, a move forward indeed! Our host Lise Davies looking slinky in silk, and a charming Lithuania girl in the tightest rubber dress I have ever seen.  

It is coming back to me now, that nice lady decorator having made our room ready for the first of this seasons rental clients, did not want it being besmirched (what a great word!) by the likes of me, so at 2.30 this morning the pav, already previously in use as a party room, an afternoon retreat, and an office, has a new use, as a campsite.  But you know what? it was great, and I slept very well, so this could become a regular occurence whilst the nights remain warm. 

Warm nights of course will be a distant memory when we finally hit the shores of Britain on Tuesday. Packing my suitcase today is very depressing as it is full of jumpers and coats.  Please don’t believe the hype being peddled by the UK media that the weather is good in England, it is all a carefully controlled media campaign to stop people trying to rent my house ((still available 17 July to 31st July! Have a look here  Mates rates available on request! 

Chris France  

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