REGS,a Wonderful rich source of news

As Bryce Robertson, one of my golfing colleagues said yesterday, playing for the REGS (The Riviera Ex Pats Golf Society) is a “material rich environment”.  This blog is rightly held in a mixture of trepidation and salacious anticipation, trepidation by those who suspect they may feature in it and salacious anticipation by those who look forward to reading about the next stupid or in appropriate gaffe perpetrated by their friends amongst the idle rich in Valbonne, which is exactly as I had planned. Some are stupid enough to court coverage in this esteemed organ, some rightly concerned that their previously upstanding characters being besmirched (what a good word!) By the word of Chris (bit like the hand of god – I like to think).   Take Steve Weston – as Nancy clearly does – not content with coming out about his sheep fetish, including sending me a picture of his favourite  sheep (see older entries) he tells a story about being in Scotland for an EU conference during a previous World Cup tournament when the entire Scottish contingent rejoiced as news spread that a goal had been scored against England. His point being that it did not matter who England were playing against, they were cheering for the opposition.  I set the trap and innocently asked him (well no that’s not strictly true, malevolently asked him is more accurate)  if he had a favourite Shetland sheep. I expected a stunned silence, tinged with the emerging realisation that my reporting skills would be exercised to the full if he revealed anything at all about this new penchant, but no, he ploughed on! Yes he does have a favourite, but he also likes Shetland ponies because, and I quote, “There is  more meat on them”.  By this time the assembled throng of REGS participants who had been listening to the conversation in increasing amazement, took up the cudgels, and began asking what I thought were quite pertinent questions, ” do you have any pictures of nice or pretty horses?” ” Do you have a favourite Derby winner as a pin-up?” and so on until gradually degenerating into ” have you ever slept with a horse?” I think it was about this time that Steve realised what dodgy ground he was on and the subject changed..

During a few glasses of beer after this hard-fought golf match, which I incidentally I won in spectacular style at the last hole against gruff unshaven northerner Dave Goddard who was suffering from a torn fetlock or whatever (this is another horse theme mention, just for Steve) .  I have a picture to prove it, or my proudly sporting a 10 euro note stuck to my forehead in traditional style, but of course, I am too modest to publish it

The winner, as confirmed by Mick "German shooting trousers" Pedley supporting me with a V for Victory sign

My second today will reveal the pits of golfing sartorial ineptitude with which I am faced on regular occasions. New boy (in the loosest definition of boy) is Bill Oddie lookalike John Tindall who seems to believe that wearing a Beenie hat is making some kind of statement about his station in life. Mate, that station is so far off the main line that even Dr Beeching would have struggled to find it before closing it down.  There is just one word of advice I would venture…just.. NO!    He seems to be a most charming chap, despite appearances, and in a curious way I admire him, it must take a great deal of courage to turn up to play with the REGS for the first time looking like a cross between a didicoy and a bird watcher, and I am very impressed by his  (mis placed) confidence, but John, once is enough..

Hat....just....no!

Chris France

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