Terrace Party Shock Horror

June 5, 2010

tags: Angle info, Anglo Info, Bill Wyman, Cote D Azur, Currencies Direct, Food & wine, fr2day, Friend in france, Living In France, Moving To France

I arrive home from a shopping expedition to replenish the cigar humidor to find the household busily preparing for the party of which I have only recently become vaguely aware. Perhaps I should have been suspicious of the enormous quantities of wine and food that had been amassed by the current Mrs France and house guest Janie Savin, but naively I had assumed the stockpiling was due to yet another french strike. I think the french would go on a protest strike if there had not been a decent strike for a month! I am sometimes accused of lacking perception but the signs from the main road, saying “Terrace Party This Way” the balloons, the almond trees adorned with bright coloured trimmings (previous parties have been slightly marred by cars backing into invisible trees), increased my slight suspicions that the terrace opening gathering, which I had been told was only a select few friends, was possibly going to be a much bigger affair. As guests started to arrive, I formed the impression that the event had been billed as a bad taste evening, as my picture of Nick Davies below suggests;

Nick Davies shirt is so bright it reflects on Phil Jeremy who is so distressed he goes home on crutches, although perhaps I should say he arrived on them too!

Later on it became clear that house guest Peter Savin must have received the same dress code information, and, as my 2nd picture shows,the forced wearing of his particular bad taste item had clearly distressed him!

Peter Savin, whom Nick Davies mistook for my father

There are other photos, Mike Hardakers crocs for instance, but as he has a rather uninteresting photo of me locked away, I do not feel the need to include it here. My Friends In France currency affiliate friends Janey and Mira were mistaken for partners in life rather than partners in business and busily acted out the part, however I personally missed this much to my chagrin, and Soraya Colegrave who only wears Jimmy Choo shoes was unimpressed with the impact on them by the old shingle terrace but soldiered through the evening telling everyone about her Midsummer Opera Dinner, Glyndebourne style on July 9th at Bastide St Mathieu, and Peter Bennett from Blue Water yachting was so impressed by the pav he is considering having his house knocked down and rebuilt in a different area so he can accommodate one.

The last stragglers, which always includes Pippa and Gerald my associates from Currencies Direct were finally ushered from the camp fire at close to 3am and a good night was had by all until I awoke this morning.

I am considering installing close circuit TV cameras to try and catch whoever it is who keeps dumping his empty bottles in my garden. I would not mind so much if they were all neatly bagged up in one place, but to distribute them around the garden from the pool to the lawn and from the pav to the camp fire is truly vindictive. There can be no other explanation, I am in no doubt that the current Mrs France and Janey would have undertaken their duty diligently, clearing everything up after the gathering had left but then some ecologically challenged fiend destroys all their good work by recklessly distributing empty bottles far and wide.

So as I write this the minutes are ticking by until midday, and with the sun over the yardarm the bloody marys will commence and I shall one gain no doubt feel at one with the world. A siesta this afternoon is a must to prepare for Bill Wyman tonight, so please, nobody phone me this afternoon!

Chris France

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